1. So I kinda have a junior high-like crush on this guy. He's a client of ours, and I've delivered things to his office 3 days in a row this week. He's cute in a red hair tall guy kind of way. He's also cute in the "I'm a gold-digger and he's only 25 and he has his own investment company" kind of way. Hey! I have no shame.

He's obviously out so out of my league that he's probably in a different solar system than I am, but it's a convenient crush to have so here I am. He's a client, he already knows my dad, everyone at the office likes him, so here I am. His name is Matt, which is also convenient for me. Right?

I guess if I really wanted to, I could put it out there. There's no guarentee he would even give me the time of day, but really, I could try to get something going. But I'm not ready for that. Because I'm a wuss. And because I still, for some god forsaken reason, have not given up hope that the other Matt will somehow, someday come to his senses and take our damn relationship to another fucking level. I mean, come on! It's been almost 7 years, it's go time!

This dude would not just be a fling. He's the kind you want to take home to your dad. So that's why I'm hesitant to get into it, or anything else for that matter. Which is stupid. I just want to lose weight and feel better about myself before I get into something like that. I guess that's why I had donuts for breakfast.

2. Sex and the City. I am almost done with the third season, and even though I've seen all those episodes before, I'm still experiencing all the same emotions I did the first time I watched them. The last 2 episodes of the 2nd season and most of the 3rd season is just so intense and insane and wrong. Big goes to Paris! Meets Natasha! Carrie sees them at a beach party in the Hamptons! They have lunch! He tells her their engaged! She meets Aidan! He loves he! Big isn't happy with Natasha! They have an affair! GASP!

Big (or "John" as we have come to know him) and Carrie are just this crazy couple with intense chemistry that they can't seem to get away from. I'm sorry, but I dig that! And Aidan, yeah, he's a good guy. But I can see why Carrie doesn't marry him. He's just too nice. He's not right for her.

And now that I know Carrie and Big eventually end up together, that makes me happy.

And yes, I do realize it's just one of the many TV shows I've gotten all obsessed with in my life, but that's just what I do! At least I'm still going to work and going to the gym while managing to fit in all these episodes. Although, I don't have a social life. Does it count as a social life if me and my roomate hang out together at home? It should.

And yes, Carrie and Big do somehow remind me of Matt and I. As does Nate and Brenda from Six Feet Under. I'm weird. I get too caught up in these things. But we all need some way to pass the time, right?

3. For the couple of months, I've been thinking about possible career paths. And I have to the conclusion as to what I really want to do, besides being a novelist, of course. I want to be in publishing. I want to be an editor. I don't want to be a reporter for a newspaper, which is really what I got my degree in. I want to be in publishing.

So over the last couple of days, I've tried to be productive about it. I've looked up several different publishing places in Dallas and I've started emailing and asking about possible jobs or internships. I've only gotten one response, but it was not a happy one. Basically it was "We don't have any open positions, but if we did we wouldn't hire you anyway because you have no experience.

So that's fun.

4. Work is okay. Today I spent a lot of time on the road, going to properties and my dad's office and such. It wasn't good last week in the respect that I slacked on a project I was supposed to be working on (project meaning "call and pester everyone about sending us proof of insurance") and I got called on it and spent the rest of the week cowering in fear that I was going to get fired. Again. The 4th time in a year and 2 months. So I've obviously been trying to make it up, and I'm doing okay at this point. So yay not being fired again.

That's it, I guess. I have discovered that the elliptical thingie at the gym where you have to use your arms... that's greatness. I have also discovered that the whole "sunglasses on top of the head" look is a wonderful accessory.

I'm out.