I almost feel ashamed to write in my own diary right now. I feel like this is the truly rock bottom.. I have NEVER felt this shitty in my entire life. My pride is taking a huge beating, my self esteem is shot (try applying to 100 places and not getting hired by a single one.. that does wonders for self esteem, let me tell ya.), I have completely exposed myself to my ex-boyfriend.. I don't think I could sink any lower in his eyes at this point. And I feel like you are judging me. I feel like you think I'm a dumbass and I should take all your advice.

Maybe I should, but meanwhile, could you please just listen to what I say and not judge me? Is that even possible? If its not, I dunno. I might password this or start another diary or do something else like that. You people just mystify me sometimes, the way you're so anxious to tear someone down when they're already at their lowest.

Whatever.