So, Austin. Austin was good and fresh and lovely, and I'm going to tell you about it now.

I left Dallas around 11 on Saturday and hauled my ass to Austin. Austin was hosting the Austin City Limits music festival, so that just added to the fun time traffic situation. There was reportedly over 75,000 people there, and the whole weekened it was like 95 degrees. Yuck.

But anyway, as soon as I got to the greatness that is Austin, I had a face waxing appointment. Not the funnest way to spend a Saturday, but I needed it done. I only trust one person in the world with this, and he's in Austin. He did a good job, although I could have done without all the small talk. I was starting to resemble Bigfoot there for a while, but it's all good now. I even have my hair in a pony tail today! Good times.

After that, I went to my brother's and had a joyous reunion with Dylan McMonkeyPoopers. And my brother. We mused about life and then I excused myself to go participate in an exercise in consumer capitalism. Actually, I just went to the mall and bought some cool stuff at Lane Bryant.

If Hot Topik had been around when I was 14, I would have bought my whole entire wardrobe there. As it is now, I'm a little too old and a little too fat. But I still bought a mood ring and a Guns N Roses sticker, which I promptly put on my car.

Later, I watched a little Six Feet Under and then my brother and I had dinner at a nice Italian restaurant. I called Joey, my gay movie boyfriend, but he's "detoxing" himself this weekend because he's apparently too into the pot. Sooo, no Joey the gay movie boyfriend.

The engagement party started at 9:30 at night, which is late but not entirely unusual for Austin. The difference between Dallas and Austin.. in Dallas the party would have been at 6:30 and everyone would have to be dressed formal. In Austin, everyone was wearing jeans and having a gay old time.

It was sooosooo nice to see my Austin friends. I'm so very glad that I got off my ass when I lived there and made some lasting relationships. They all rule, and I love them, and they are the biggest reason as to why I'd ever move back. Them, and a job. And if the traffic ever stopped being so completely sucktastic.

I was so happy for Sarah because she's totally paid her dues! They've been together for like.. 4 years. So getting married is a good thing. Not that I'm bitter.

On the way home from the party (after I got unlost.. Austin still confuses me) I was so happy because one radio station had this metal show on, and they played "My Michelle" by GN'R, "18 and Life" by Skid Row, and "Up all Night" by Slaughter. That made my night! I am easily amused.

On Sunday I went to church because I missed my church so entirely much. I spent a good majority of my Austin time at that church, and it was a nice feeling to go back. I really wish I could find a church like this in Dallas, but it just doesn't exist. Dallas doesn't have the mindset that Austin does.

After church, my brother and I hung out with his friends. There was food involved, and then some illegal substances (none for me, thanks) before heading off to the Pound to look at puppies. I don't understand the mindset of people who think Sunday afternoon is a good time to get high, but that's just me. Whatever blows their skirt up.

I went to Freebirds to burrito myself before I went back to Dallas. It was a loonng drive home and I didn't get back until 10:30. But I was listening to "Otherwise Engaged" on tape and now I want to get married. But that's okay.

It was a lovely and nice weekend. It really made me miss the fuck out of Austin, but I'm okay with that. Austin is the soulmate that I love too much to really be with, because it's just too intense. Dallas is the more sensible husband, the one that makes soup for you when you're sick. And that's okay. It just makes me wish I could find HappyTown, which mixes my favorite parts of Dallas and Austin together!

On Thursday night, the long lost Natalie came to visit me at my apartment. It must be hard to be Natalie. She's so into her faith and being faithful at all times, and with our world the way it is, with all our filth and nastyness, it must be hard.

Like, Christy is my church friend in Austin. She's just as hardcore as Natalie is, but she knows that society is not like that and she doesn't try to fight it. I told her about the Velvet Revolver concert and how close I was to Slash, and she was all, "Did you throw your panties onstage? I can see you doing that!" I doubt Natalie has ever said "panties" in her life, much less actually vocalized a sentence like that.

But anyway, it was good to see Natalie. She's going on a 6 week mission trip to Italy this week, so she's happy about that.

On Friday I went to the eye doctor.

A little background: When I was 14, I had eye surgery to correct a birth defect. They took fascia from my leg and put it in my eye because that's what they do. And I feel like one of my eyes is kinda drooping a bit, and it's really been bothering me.

But the doctor, who I haven't seen in 10 years, said I just need to use eyedrops more often because I just don't blink enough to get enough fluid in them, or some such. So I don't need surgery, and that's a really good thing.

I also left work early on Friday and spent some much needed quality time with Matt. We had the good nookie and then ate ourselves into a coma at On the Border. It was just a few hours, but it was a really nice couple of hours, and it made me all kinds of happy. Yay.

It was a good weekend, though. I feel like I'm making strides. I feel like *gasp* I'm making PROGRESS. That's such a strange word for me, but I can definitely tell a difference in my social skills. A MUCH NEEDED difference. So that's good.

I will shut up now. This entry was much more boring than I intended. It happens.

*****

a year ago...

"If I do get a job at some point in my life, I'm sure going to miss this life of leisure I seem to be allowing myself to have. Wake up when I want, go look for a job for a few hours, come home, take a nap, maybe go see a movie.. everyday is Saturday!"

3 years..

"I was just feeling sorry for myself. I still am. I'm having issues with many, many things. I go through stages where I just feel worthless and fat and empty, and I feel that way right now. BB gave me roses last night and my mom loves me and everybody is really supportive, but it's just how I am. I'm dirty. I never clean my room. My car is smoking because I don't get regular oil changes even though I basically drive 3000 miles a month.

I can't stop eating. I eat all the time, and it's all bad. I don't take care of myself. I'm disgusting."