Austin was good times. I got to leave work at 2 (3 hours early) on Friday so I could meet my friends at 7 in Austin. I was anticipating some big traffic issues, so I gave myself some extra hours in there for preparation.

Seriously, there was NO TRAFFIC until I got to the city limits of Austin. I don't know what it is about that city, but they have the worst traffic issues ever. And I just can't deal with traffic. It makes me CRAZY.

But I digress. I got to our meeting destination 10 minutes before 7, and I met up with my girly friends, and then we went to a play that one of our girls was directing. It was nice to see my friends.. but it wasn't weird and it wasn't awkward like it is when you haven't seen your friends in a while. It was good. It was like I was still a part of them, and that's what I like to see.

The play was for kids, and it was about death, and it was kind of.. umm, yeah. I won't say it was shit, because my friend directed it. But, it was shit. And my cell phone went off in the middle of it, causing me to absolutely spaz out in embarassment, so that was fun. Just think.. you're sitting peacefully watching a play, and all of a sudden you hear the tones of "Clocks" by Coldplay coming out of a cell phone, you'd probably be annoyed too.

We then had some cheap italian food and talked about life in general. Good times were had. I heart my friends.

I went back to my brother's house after that and had a joyful reunion with his doggie, Dylan. My brother came home around 3 AM, chemically enhanced from whatever illegal substances he decided to partake in on a Friday night. He was soon followed by two of his friends, Nick and Chris. We sat around and talked for a while, and I was reminded of how much I miss the gay boys. I heart gay boys, I really do. But then all these other people came by and participated in Loud Stereo-ness and more illegal substances, and I was not amused, but that's okay.

So that was fun. Not really.

On Saturday I got my hair did! I got it cut 3.5 inches, highlighted with a really pretty brownish color, and had more layers added. I wasn't so happy about the length because my hair was long, and now it's not. But I like it now. It makes me look a little older and maybe a bit more professional. Yeeyuh.

I then saw 13 Going on 30, which was cute and predictable and wow is Mark Ruffalo an attractive sort. I did some shopping at Lane Bryant and had an inner battle about whether or not I should be a cool funky hipster with my brother that night or just do my normal thang of going to Barnes and Noble and then going to Freebirds and going home to watch Saturday Night Live. Guess what won? Anti-socialness rules.

That night, my brother said that he would probably come home late again and he'd probably be all loud with people again, but I was like, "Whatever, do what you have to do." I was fully expecting chaos and unsleeping, but I slept the whole entire night in total peacefulness. It was the greatest night of sleep ever, maybe.

On Sunday, my brother slowly came out of his substance abused mind, took the boy that spent the night home, and we got some Migas at a mexican food restaurant. Mmmmm. And it was raining, which added to the goodness of it all.

Only, when I left to drive back to Dallas at 3:30, there was some craazzy traffic going on. AT 3:30 ON A SUNDAY! I hate Austin traffic. Seriously. That's one reason that me and Austin might never ever work out.

So, in summary, I enjoyed my first trip back to Austin. When I first drove in, I didn't know what to expect. I mean, it has only been three months, and I might feel different if it was like three years or something, but yeah.

I wasn't sure if I was going to feel sad that I left, or regret that I left, or happiness that I left, or what. I didn't know if some nostalgic wave was going to sweep me up or what, but what I actually felt was.. content. I didn't feel anything, almost. I felt like me and Austin have made peace with each other.. we're cool.

I was explaining to my brother that going to Austin was almost like an extension of Dallas. It felt like home, really. And I had good memories, and bad memories, but it was a place that I called my home, and it was a place where I made due with what I had and what I was prepared to do with what I had. I worked hard for what I managed to get for myself in Austin. I am proud of the life I made for myself. And going back wasn't bad or good, it was just like I was visiting another town or something. I used to visit twice a year or so, but now I have a reason to go more. And I have friends. And I know where I'm going and I don't get lost. And I know how to pronounce "Manchaca", a road near my brother's house. (It's like "man shack", not "man chacha!" like I thought it was when I first moved there.) So it's like before I moved there, but with good differences. Or something.

I think the most overwhelming feeling I have towards Austin right now is pride. When I used to go there, I would always feel regret. Every single time I went, I'd always feel that somehow I missed out on living in my Dream City, the city that I was destined to live in. Now, I know that I packed my shit up, I moved there, I had some issues, I resolved some issues, and I did what I could. I am proud of the fact that I just said "Fuck it!" and moved to the place I knew I belonged. And so what if I didn't live there longer than a year? Again, I did my best with what I had, and now I'm back where I feel I belong. So there.

But, yay Austin.

I knew I wasn't going to be able to write what I was really thinking about that. And I call myself a writer. Hah.

I'm just glad I have a whole new set of Austin memories now. Yay for that.

I have other stuff, but I'll leave it at this for now. Rawk.

Ironically, this time last year I was visiting Dallas while I lived in Austin. Kooky.

*****

a year ago...

"So what am I, really? I'm a Daughter, a Puppy Lover, a Woman, a Writer, a nice person. I like movies, I like to work out, I like volunteering. I like to eat, and I like to laugh, and I like to make new friends. I like to read, and I like to spend copious amounts of time inside a bookstore. These things define me, and someday, I can add more things to the list. Wife. Mother. Career person. Right now I'm just kinda floating around from one place to another, looking for my soul, looking for my niche. I'll find it.. but it's just so hard sometimes, you know?"

2 years ago...

"So, this semester has probably been the best one of my college life. Maybe not friend wise, and probably not grade wise, but just in the experience I have gained, as a person and as a writer. I proved to myself that these things aren't impossible. My editor mentioned yesterday that I was "reliable" and that kinda made me happy. Nobody has every really said that I was reliable before. But I guess I am. I never missed a deadline, I didn't complain too much, I did extra stuff when he needed me to. It was all good."