This dog has survived many things that any normal dog would have not. He outlived Parvo by some kind of miracle. He's lived with 4 different sets of people. He now lives at the farm, and has somehow avoided being murdered by various Anatolian Shephards, horses, armadillos, cars, golf carts, and Farm Guy (who once told me that where he grew up, they "shoot dogs like him" because he isn't useful in any kind of way).

So, let's all join hands and remember my Charlie today. He's my little tiny baby boy, even if he is 5 years old.

Yay!

*****

This computer is giving me tired head today. I'm so tired of computers and all their retarded problems. I still haven't found Larry the Laptop's proof of purchase so he hasn't gone to get repaired yet.

I just want a fucking computer that works! I called AOL tech support, and it's nice to see that AOL is helping the India outsourcing community. Really. That's nice.

*****

I've been bumping into a lot of things lately, like desks and doorways and all kinds of stuff like that. It's like my ass is so big that gravity doesn't even apply to it anymore. That right there is good times.

I am trying to do a little better with the working out and eating better this week. My motivation is the fact that I'm going to the farm again this weekend. I can't help it.. I must torture myself by putting myself in Farm Guy situations. It's a cute little character trait of mine.

*****

I have a job interview today. It's the first one I've had in a month or so. I'm not expecting anything from it, but it's nice to know they care. Right?

I did have a dream the other night that I was fired here because they got tired of me, and once again I had nothing but time, all day long, to look for jobs. I REALLY don't want that again. Unemployment terrifies me, it seriously does. The thought of not having anything to do during the day scares the shit out of me.

I mean, say what you will about having to wake up early and go to work. Sometimes it sucks. But at least I have a place to be during the day. At least I have some sort of purpose. If I was unemployed again and not going to bed until 2 AM and waking up at 11 and then working out and not really starting on any job looking until 2 or 3 in the afternoon and then having to find something to do at night.. that really is a nightmare to me right now. I don't want that in my life.

Incidentally, I told my brother about my Tom Hanks dream and he said that it probably has something to do with sibling rivalry and how I'm mad he's found his niche and I haven't yet. I can see where he's going with that.. why would I dream that HE'S the journalist when I'M the one who's supposed to be? It's all very strange.

*****

So in the car yesterday, "Knockin on Heaven's Door" came on the radio and while I listened to Axl and his voice, I realized something about him. Axl comforts me. When I have tired head like I do right now, his familiar voice makes me feel all better. I guess it's just because I've been listening to GN'R for so long that it's just soothing to me now. You know?

I love me some Axl.

*****

So yesterday, Natalie called me. I haven't talked to her in months, so it was nice to chat. She said I probably could have come to the camp where she worked this summer, the camp I went to for almost 10 years as a kid, but it just kinda slipped her mind. That's cool. I can dig it.

I know Natalie has about 400 best friends, but I like to think we have some kind of deeper connection, even if we don't talk all that much. One day we sat down and figured out that we went to the same high school (she was 2 years ahead of me), we both went to the same Michael Jackson concert in the 80's, we both went to the same Bette Midler concert a few years ago, not to mention the fact that Donna used to live approximately 4 houses down from her house. You know when you meet people and it's just kinda like destiny that you were meant to be friends? Yeah.

*****

Happy birthday to Charlie!

*****

A year ago.. (the Matt story)

"So, here we are at Labor Day. 6 years ago, I went to my friend Angie's house to meet this guy I had been hearing so much about online. I knew he was an asshole, but I didn't think he would be so hardcore in person. When I was running away from the house crying about 4 minutes after meeting him, I admitted that I was wrong."

2 years..

"BB and I have been together for almost 5 years. Seriously, 5 years. October is our anniversary. In that 5 years, he has never given me the frequency of the orgasm he gave me yesterday."

3 years...

"Well, the game wasn't too bad. He pays attention to the game and I pay attention to the people. Tonight it was a bunch of 16 and 17 year old high school kids. What I noticed was how all the guys are starting to resemble Boy Bands. Like, in a hardcore way. And they're all touchy feely with other guys. This did not happen when I was in high school. Some of the ways these boy band guys dressed.. no. It just did not used to be cool. It's a little scary, really. And the girls.. my god, did they just paint on their clothes or what? It looked like they got the smallest size they could find and squeezed their big giant boobs into it. "