I am totally rocking the cleavage hardcore right now cuz I bought this new shirt and I'm wearing my work-out bra, which totally enhances the boobs. You know what I'm talking about, girlfriends.

I just talked to Matt and he's going to go study with some chick tonight. Now not only do I have to worry about his girlfriend, I have to worry about some hot chick in 2 of his classes that he's studying with. All this competition.. it's gonna be hard, but I can do it.

I'm totally kidding, really. I know that I really need to take the next 3 months and get down to business.. and I was thinking that I'd do it for him if I couldn't do it for myself, but what if I do it for him and then it doesn't pay off? Then I'll be all depressed all over again. And that's just not good. So it's for me. And any future boyfriend material.

It's going to be weird to move back here. I'll have to start out all over again, finding out who I am without him. I'm realizing that a lot of the things I am dreading missing out on when I get back.. it's all stuff that he initiated. The road trips, the football games, the parties, the friends.. all of it was his. He still has that, and I don't. So I have to get my own life started, with my own stuff in it. That's really important, I would think.

It's important to note that I am going to the horse races on Sunday. How excited am I? The answer is: very excited.

It's also important to note that right now, I have $0. And I need gas. Not a good combo, people.

I think I'm going to call Natalie now.