The biggest reason I'm not going is because I'm only going to be here for a few more months. I feel like I should take advantage of that which is Austin while I still can instead of going to Dallas when soon enough I'm going to live in Dallas anyway! I feel like I should go the Depression Support Group tomorrow night, for one thing. I haven't been in months, and I'm not depressed anymore, but they really helped me through some shitty times and it would be nice to see everyone again.

I also have a dentist appointment. I need to get an oil change. I need to get my phone fixed. I need to fix the big office chair I bought almost a month ago but have neglected to put together because my brain doesn't work that way. I need to hang out with friends that I probably won't see very much after going back to Dallas.

I'm going back for Thanksgiving anyway. And then Christmas. And then it's the big road trip. So I just feel that going to Dallas right now would be a stupid thing to do. I'm learning that even though I want immediate gratification from life, in the long run, waiting is always the better decision. Insert some kind of joke here.

I'm proud of my decision. And you should be too.

Plus, I'm really starting to fall behind on Nano. It was so much easier last year! I liked the story I was writing a lot more. But I also didn't have a job, nor did I have much of a social life. So it's good that I'm behind this year, in a roundabout way.

Work was crazy times today. The day already started out quite crappily by being sunny after a week of precious and beautiful overcast days. At work, they assigned me to a position that I have been terrified they were going to assign me to. It's where you make sure that everything is stocked, and like.. when you run out of the black beans, you have to run to the kitchen and grab some more and put it in there before anyone really misses the black beans. It's a crazy busy job, and I'm not the fastest person, so I was really not looking forward to it.

As I expected, it sucked a lot. I felt my social retardation slowly creeping in today. Another chick was assigned to help me do all the things that I was missing, and as a result, the line of people waiting patiently for burritos kept getting longer and longer.

Long story short (too late!), I felt like I really sucked it up today. And due to a certain extremely intimidating chick, I felt like my job was thus in jeopardy.

This chick scares me. She's a nice person and at first I thought I'd really like her. But underneath it all, much like my senior algebra teacher in high school, I think she's evil. And I think she's actually trying to intimidate me so I run away crying.

So much did she scare me that as soon as I got home today, I called the manager of the store (the chick who hired me, nonetheless) and told her that I know I sucked today, but I really like this job and want to keep it. I know that's probably lame, and it's the second time in my life that I've had to call my boss and beg them not to fire me. She said that I should chill, it's all good, if anything they're worried about people quitting, and if I really did suck they'd let me know.

When you've been fired twice in the span of 6 months, you start getting nervous about these things. Indeed.

In other news, I'm kind of surprised that I'm not missing Matt more than I am right now. I'm not really all that dissapointed that I'm not going to see him this week, which is sort of uncharacteristically weird for me. But like I said, the road trip will be coming soon and then we can see other so much we can hardly stand it. So yeah.

Outkast's "Hey Ya" has been in my head for like the past 5 hours. It's a good song. I really dig it. And I won't pretend that I've ever heard an Outkast song in my life before I heard that one. I'm on the bandwagon. CHOO CHOO!

Okay then.

*****

a year ago...

"Maybe I should stop typing, go to the bathroom, and pee. Cuz like.. that would be a good idea."

2 years ago..

"I was watching something on Comedy Central about the movie Shallow Hal, and I heard Gweneth call it a "love letter to overweight people." Well thank you, Gweneth. Us fat people will be sure to mail you back a "Love letter to no talent crackwhores who get to act because they have actor parents", okay? Yeah, and be sure to say hi to Ben for me."

and..

"So this prostitute and this koala bear are doing prostitute type activities. When they are finished, post coitus, if you will, the prostitute tells the koala bear to pay up.

"I don't have to pay you," says the Koala Bear, smugly.

"Yes you do! I'm a prostitute!" says the prostitute.

They continue to squabble over this, until the prostitute comes up with a plan.

"Look up my definition in the dictionary, that'll tell you," says the prostitute.

They look it up, and find the definition to be "One who gets paid for sex."

The koala bear giggled, and said, "That's great, but look up my defintion."

They looked up koala bear, and it said:

"One who eats bush and leaves."

Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all night."