baby maybe someday
2003-04-20 I'm drawing a blank on what to call this entry.

Happy Easter, humans.

I am so bad.. I totally meant to go to church this morning, the 9 am service, but I slept like crap last night. I woke up like every 30 minutes and I just could not sleep. I don't know why.. I had a good day yesterday and everything, so it's a bit of a mystery.

But I hope God doesn't hate me for skipping church on like the most churchy day of the year! I'm sorry, really!

Later today, I'm going to do some egg hunting or something with my brother at some person's house. I'm not really looking forward to that, but it's something to do today.

And it's really interesting how quickly my mood can change based on the weather. Yesterday I was happy and ectastic that it was raining and cloudy and purtyful, but today it's sunny again and I'm just like.. ehhh. Great. Another day.

I'm going to try to make this week productive, though. Tomorrow I'm going to call all the temp agencies I've signed up with and get on the active list. I'm going to apply for all the jobs I see in the paper, I'm going to stick to a good diet, I'm not going to freak out and cry, and regarding Matt.. I'm not going to play the "How long can I go without talking to him" game. Because I've decided that that isn't beneficial to either of us anymore. I'm going to talk to him when I feel like talking to him, and that's that. I don't know if that's counter productive or what, but we'll soon find out.

Also, tomorrow I HAVE to call Ryan. I just have to suck it up and DO IT. I made this decision last night when I was channel surfing and Strange Days was on. We saw that movie together 100 years ago, and holy shit, it just seemed like a big sign that I needed to call him. So I will. Tomorrow. Seriously. Why do I freak out over calling this boy? He's just a boy. Really. An attractive boy that I once thought was my soulmate, but a boy nonetheless.

I have nothing to do tomorrow night (except calling Ryan, of course) and that scares me. On Tuesday, there's the Depression group, Wednesday is church, and on Thursday I'm doing 4 hours straight of volunteering at the reading for the blind and dyslexic place, from 8 to midnight, cuz it's a Readathon! I'm kinda excited about that.

And of course, on Friday, I'm going home. All of this is contingent on finding a job, of course, but I REALLY want to go home. And yeah.. I kinda would like to see Matt because I'm feeling good about myself. I still have this huge stomach, but overall, I think I look good.

My brother, who's not very dishy with the compliments, told my mom that he was proud of me. That I always look nice and that he thinks I'm really growing up here. That meant a lot. I feel like I'm learning a lot, but I also know I have a ton more to learn and I might not be able to in the almost 3 months I have left. But it's all good.

It's officially been a month since I was fired. I am still no closer to a job at all. That's a little depressing, really. But I will not dwell. Because that's just not good.

Okay then.

Happy Easter.

And I apologize for the sheer boringness of this entry.

*****

What was Liz doing a year ago?

"I'm such an MTV whore. I'm watching their National Sex Quiz even though I'm probably never going to have sex ever again. Really, I feel like none of this information pertains to me, because I'm not having sex and that sucks.

Although we did get it on twice yesterday. But you know.. fingers kinda get old sometimes."



back & forth random
recently...

So be it! My last entry ever. - November 16, 2004
701 - October 17, 2004
Buh bye: An Austinliz thesis - October 03, 2004
war of the roses - October 01, 2004
fucking debate! - September 30, 2004