My body decided to launch a full-scale attack on me this morning for all the crappy food I put into it yesterday. I figured that I must have eaten about 3000 calories. I usually have about 1000-1500 calories, so it was not too happy about that.

So, this morning it was all "Hey! You have a REALLY important job interview that might seal your fate for the rest of your natural life, so guess what? I'm gonna keep you here on the toilet for at least 20 of the minutes you should be spending putting on makeup and doing your hair to look presentable to these people." Wasn't that nice of my body?

I was seriously about to lose my shit (yes, literally too.).. I was freaking out beyond maximum capacity. But, hahaha on my body, because I made it to the place with exactly 4 minutes to spare. I didn't get to brush my teeth and I didn't really get to put much make-up on, but I made it, damnit!

And really, it was probably better than 95% of all past interviews. It was only 15 minutes long, but we talked about my family and cats and dogs and marriage and stuff like that. I tried to be somewhat witty yet intelligent at the same time, and all that crap. I brought my writing samples and she said I had a very good writing style.

So, do whatever you do for strangers who ask you to put a good thought out into the atmosphere. I REALLY want this job. Badly. A LOT.

Thank you.

In other news, I think I totally out-Friends myself yesterday. I watched the 6 and 6:30 reruns, the first and second hour of the finale, the 10:00 rerun and that whole Jay Leno crapfest. So, of course I dreamed about it last night. I can't remember much except that I took pictures of them with my camera phone, Bea Arthur was somehow involved, and I kept messing with Matthew Perry's ears. So, that's fun.

In retrospect, I am a little disappointed that Rachel didn't go to Paris. Ross should have bought a ticket and went to Paris with her.. I really think that would have been the best outcome. But what do I know? I just work here.

And seriously, this is still cracking my shit up. So, go see it. Or something.

I think I'm finished for now.

*****

a year ago..

"Oh, and also, I've taken to talking to the roach in my bathroom. I haven't seen him a couple of days, but I know he's lurking in there, waiting to scare the shit out of me when I wake up to take my 4 AM pee break. So before I go in the bathroom, I announce myself. I'm all like, "Come on, roach, go away. Don't be in there. Go away now! I don't want to see you in there!" He's kinda become a little roach friend, even though the next time I see him, his ass is going down. DOWN, I SAY!"

and...

"This guy comes out to help me, and when I show him what's wrong, he's all like, "Uh, is your car in gear?" Yeah. It was in reverse. When I put it in park, it was like a miracle happened! It started! All of a sudden!

I felt stupid."

2 years ago..

"If you don't hear from me for a while, look for some stalker activity down in the area of Malibu. That is where my stalking target, one Mr. W. Axl Rose aka William Bailey lives. And that is where I am going.

Okay, not really. But for some reason, I am being inundated with Axl lately. I had another concert related dream last night, and this one had me waiting for not only hours, but days for his arrival. And somewhere in there a Golden Girls reunion took place. Yep, that's me folks. Axl Rose and the Golden Girls, that's whats on my mind."

(What's up with the Golden Girls dreams?)