I wonder if maybe I should have alcohol more often so that when I have 3 glasses of wine and a margarita I don't get completely drunk off my ass. I'm just not a fan of alcohol unless it's for an outcome of drunkenness. I'd rather have a Dr. Pepper or maybe some water instead of a glass of wine. Maybe it's time to grow! Imagine that.

I really wish I wasn't 24 years old. So many people have accomplished so many things by age 24, and I don't have crap. Maybe I'm just bitter because my brother is doing so extremely well for himself right now. So well that my dad actually cried at his graduation. He cried!

But anyway, Austin was good stuff. It was the first time ever that all my respective parents and me and my brother were all together. That's a very hard event to coordinate, in case you were wondering. But we all got along, there was no drama, there was lots of really long meals, and one boat ride that really highlighted the reasons why I am in love with Austin.

And last night Joey came over to watch a movie with me and my brother, but since my brother and I were both drunk off our asses and Joey was totally stoned, it wasn't all that fun and I ended up going to bed at 11:15. And again I had to share my brother's sofa with Dylan the Golden Retreiver, so it wasn't a fantastic night of sleep.

The greatest part of this weekend was the fact that I didn't have my car. I love my car, and I love driving, but it was SO NICE to be without the responsibility of driving for at least 2 days. I didn't have to make any choices and I could just let my parents cart me around all weekend. And I even got Joey to take me to 7-11 to buy feminine hygiene products.

Tonight I'm proving that I'm the most boring person in America by staying at home instead of going out with my roommate, who actually invited me to a social occasion. I am eating Freebirds, reading US magazine and watching a DVD of Sex and the City, Season 6. Can you believe there are actually, like, 4 episodes I haven't seen? Oh, and yeah, I'm having horrible craptastic cramps. HORRIBLE. CRAPTASTIC. In case you didn't hear me the first time.

My comments are working now.. I was just too lazy to fix them. So leave one or something.

I'm out. Rawr.. I'm too old to get drunk.

****

a year ago...

"Sorry, I have to rationalize this so I can see it and understand it, and I know most of you are looking at me all like "What the fuck?" and I understand and appreciate that, but you guys.. I'm just desperate sometimes. Desperate to have something with him, a connection. And it hurts so much not to have it, and sometimes I have to create it, and sometimes in creating it I destroy whatever reserve I had built for myself."