So after Adam, I start really getting into the cyber world. I discover Matchmaker and all that it encompassed, and I especially discovered chat rooms.

I took a little more effort with the chat room than I do now and soon I was making friends left and right. After a failed meeting with an asshole Asian football player named Dennis, I was about ready to give up the online dating world until behold, out comes Chris #1.

Chris #1 was cute enough, I suppose. I don't actually remember too much what he looked like, but there was no long hair, no tattoos (actually, I don't think anyone I dated ever had a tattoo. This dissapoints me.), no bad boy tendencies at all. He was a senior, I was a junior. In a word, he was dull. We went to his homecoming and afterwards, he kissed me and tried to feel me up in his mom's minivan. I was totally unattracted to him. I was his first kiss, and he was a friggin senior. That turned me off a lot more than one would think.

He was a nice enough guy. He sent me poems via email, he gave me one of those huge and imposing Homecoming mums that actually inspired awe at my own high school. I might have given him more than a month-long chance if the other Chris hadn't shown up.

I also met Chris #2 on Matchmaker. I instantly liked him. I thought he was a bad-ass. One day, we were talking about something or other and it was revealed that Chris and I went to the same elementary school and were in the same grade for 6 years. He told me his last name and I just about died! Chris R, the biggest dork in elementary school? I actually laughed at him and made him feel like shit when he told me who he was, but we got past that. He told me he admired me in elementary school because I was a balls-out hardcore chick and he thought that was cool.

So, we started hanging out, which was made easier by the fact that he lived about 5 minutes from me. I quickly developed a huge crush on him, and despite one night of snuggling, it was eventually revealed that he did not have the same feelings, as he preferred chicks who had that "heroin chic" look about them, and that was not me. He was cute in a dorky kind of way. He was also like 6'7 tall. I am 5'3 1/2. Fun!

So, here we are. I had 2 Chris'. One that I wasn't attracted to at all, the other who wasn't attracted to me at all. What did I do? I dumped the one I wasn't attracted to and eventually lost contact with the one I was attracted to.

Isn't that a fun story?

I haven't talked to Chris #1 since the night we broke up. I probably wouldn't recognize him if I ever saw him again. I think he might be the only boy I really ever hurt, but who knows? And really, who cares? It was just a month. I'm sure he moved on swiftly.

I went about 5 years without talking to Chris #2, but in December he decided to seek me out and he found me on AOL. It was revealed that he was just dumped out of a 5 year relationship as well, so we quickly bonded, and for about 3 months, we talked everyday. But then he moved on from his ex, which I never did, and I haven't talked to him in a few months. I suck like that.

So those 2 Chris' didn't really leave a lasting impression on me, but it was a sort of interesting time in my life. Online love is always interesting, isn't it?

*wipes a tear away*

Coming up next: The infamous Joshua tale, with a little Scott thrown in.

Other ex-boyfriend tales: Eddie, Charles, Ryan,Joseph,and Adam.

Also: check out my thrilling VMA commentary if you haven't already.