It happens like.. once a year, and then it's over with, and everyone's happy. But the roads are all icy and people are panicing and it's not fun times. I went to the store to buy stuff so I wouldn't be stuck here with nothing to eat tomorrow, so yes, I too panicked. I hate panicking with the masses, it makes me feel dirty.

But yesterday I had the fan on in here because it was so hot in my apartment, now the heater is on almost full blast. I was working out with Kyle the Personal Trainer (only 3 more sessions left.. that makes me sad.) and he asked how cold it was, and the only thing that came to mind for me to say was "buttfuckingly cold." He seemed pretty amused by that. It's 28 degrees, damnit! That's buttfuckingly cold to me.

It's totally nights like this that made me wish I was back in Dallas, cuddling with Matt under the blanket and watching Raw together. It really hurts to even think about that, because I want it so desperately bad right now. I'm talking to him a little tonight and I think he's carefully avoiding the subject of getting back together. I wish he hadn't brought it up in the first place.. I really do. He gave me hope, and I doubt that it's going to happen, at least any time soon.

*sigh*

Why do I have it so bad for this man? Why can't I get him out of my freaking head? It's so lame.

Anyway.

Nobody called about the job today. It looks like we're back at square one again. This is getting bad. I have practically no money left. Why am I such an unhirable person? Come on, god damnit! I type 80 fuckin words per minute, that has to be useful in some freaking capacity!

Guhhh.

In the meantime, I'm going to watch some of the movies I rented tonight (Dogma, You've Got Mail, Living Out Loud, The Good Girl), maybe make cookies, maybe do a little writing, and try to get this boy out of my system.

I just love him so much. Man.. he's such a bastard.

Fucking men.