baby maybe someday
2003-01-28 The longest craptastic entry in the whole history of ever.

Hello, humans. I just sneezed like 72 times in a row. You really gotta love allergies.

*****

I had weird dreams last night. I can't remember them, though. So I don't know why I told you.

Oh, wait! I do remember.

Okay, so Matt's old people friends are selling their stereo. For some reason, they ask both of us to come seperately to help the person who bought it put it in his car, which is dumb because it's a stereo, he can friggin do it himself! So we both get there at the same time and we're both like uhh.. why is he/she here? And he looks good cuz his hair is wet, but he also has thigh high boots on. I don't know. Then I got pissed because the dude who bought the stereo was trying to take my Natalie Cole CD. Seriously, it was Natalie Cole! Like I've ever owned a Natalie Cole CD in my life!

Later, I have to use a bathroom that's like a urinal. I'm asking all the girls in there, why do we have to use this bathroom, it's totally like a urinal? And nobody knows. It's a mystery. So I just pee on the floor instead.

Welcome inside my head, people. I never said it was going to be a pleasant journey.

*****

My job interview yesterday was crap. It was at a place I found in the paper, and like a million other people showed up too. It all seemed very seedy. He was like "Look outside and see what the Four Runner that I bought after only being here for 6 months." Ughhh. He kinda interviewed all of us quickly and I answered my questions in a way that would pretty much seal the fact that I wouldn't get that particular job. Plus, he interviewed us in pairs and the girl I was with was one of those "I laugh like a crazy woman and I'm really hot and I'm gonna make this interviewer think that I'm the coolest person in the world" kind of people. Plus, she was also one of those "Hi, my name is soandso and I'm engaged!" You know, the kind of people who, when they meet new people, have to immediately tell them they're engaged or else they might die. And then she inserted it into every single conversation. It was really nauseating.

I mean, I'm one of those "Hi, I'm Elizabeth, I was dumped." kind of people, but please! I at least wait until I've known the person for a few minutes.

I am seriously starting to worry that I'm never ever going to get a job. I picked a really bad time to be born and then to graduate. Like, 4 years ago everything was booming and it was hard not to get a job, and now we're almost in this war and the economy sucks and nobody is ever going to hire anyone ever again. Bahhh.

*****

I did obtain Coldplay tickets last night. They're floor, but that's general admission, so I guess I get to look forward to a long night of standing up next to tons of other sweaty people. But at least I'm going, right?! My brother has seen them before and he says they're one of the best live bands he's ever seen, and he's Mr. Live Band. So I'm excited.

*****

I didn't talk to Matt much yesterday, and that was weird because all day I was like, "I hope he talks to me because then I can tell him that I don't think we should talk anymore." But he didn't talk to me. And I actually kept initiating conversations between us. It was really annoying.

If he would have never of said "Breaking up with my girlfriend is not an option," I dunno. Nothing different would be happening now, I guess. But that really hurts. That whole sentence just really feels like someone is stabbing me repeatedly. I hate it. I want it to die.

And I talked to my dumped friend again yesterday. His name is Chris, by the way. We were actually in the same grade at the same elementary school, but we never had a reason to talk to each other. Then we started talking again via Matchmaker, when somehow we realized who we were. We went to the same elementary school! I had the hots for him in a major way, but he was too cool for me, I think. Nothing ever happened with that.

But anyway, he said I had to stop talking to Matt or else I could never move on. And I really want to take his advice. And why I really want to take his advice is because I'm more inclined to belive someone who miracuously came back into my life after 6 years of not talking at all, whatsoever.

And it's so weird that he came back in my life because he's going through like.. the exact same thing. He just got dumped after a 5 year relationship too and he feels exactly the same way I do, but he's handling it better because he's not talking to her anymore. It just seems to me like fate and/or God brought him back to me because it/He knew I needed someone to help me get through this, someone who was going through exactly the same thing.

Right, right? Right.

*****

I'll shut up now. Well, no I won't.

I'm really worried about what I'm going to do with myself this weekend. Next weekend my mom is coming, and the next weekend after that I'm probably coming back to Dallas for a few days. But this weekend.. I have no plans, nothing. And what if this is the weekend that Matt's girlfriend finally decides to get her head out of her ass?

I can't stand this crap. It drives me crazy.

But I have to pee. Now. And also, today I start personal training. I shelled out the big bucks and got 12 sessions of it because I think that's really going to help.

Ooh, let's look at something here. Let's look back to last week. Monday and Tuesday, Matt doesn't talk to me. Monday and Tuesday, I follow my diet, work out, etc. Matt talks to me on Tuesday night, and for the rest of the week I suddenly decide my diet isn't working and I just say fuck it. I haven't even worked out since Friday. Coincidence? I think not.

EVERYONE! WE HAVE AN EMOTIONAL EATER HERE! WATCH OUT!

Hrrm.

*****

This was the longest crap entry of all time. But I had a lot to say, I suppose. Look at all that crap I had to say. Anyway. I'll shut up now. Really. Seriously.

Muahahahahah!

Okay, I'm done. Really.



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