Dumbass: Hello, Would you like a Valentine's Weekend rendezvous trip with a professional, divorced, nonsmoker man in Dallas.... 40,� 5'10"� 165 lbs..... for romance, fun, intimacy, and companionship?� I have dark hair, trim mustache, brown eyes, am slender and drug/disease free.

Me: Uhhh no.

I totally feel like I'm on the brink of having my period, you know? Like, I have the cramps for it, and all that stuff, but it's not happening! And I just wish it would happen already because I haven't had one in months and I would be really happy to have one so it can explain that crazy ass mood swings I've been having these days. I swear, it would be the most welcome period of all time. Not because I think I'm pregnant, the last time I checked you have to have sex in a span of at least a year or two or five to be pregnant.

I think I might be changing my mind on this whole dating thing. Yesterday, while I sat in traffic for an hour (gotta love that Austin rush hour traffic), I thought about actually going out and dating other people. There's this one dude I'm talking to on Matchmaker that really sounds interesting. His name is... THOMAS! Woohoo. I've never dated a THOMAS before! I'm excited. I totally just asked him out for Saturday night. Woowee. Plus, he's all kinds of hot. And I just got to thinking about how fun it would be to go on a date, talk about stuff, learn about another person's life. And then at some point, experience that first kiss, the one with so much promise.

I haven't dated since I was 17 and even then I was pretty bad at it, so when I do do it again, it should be fun and strange and ackward. Sorry, I can't spell that word. It's a very strange word.

I don't really know the status of me and Matt these days. I really don't. I think yesterday I pretty much gave up on the hope that he and his girlfriend are going to give it up. I pretty much surrendered to that once I thought about dating again. I still have 6 whole months here, I can't leave until July 31st. That's a REALLY long time, and I have to start focusing on my life here without him if I'm going to get anything accomplished. Blah blah blah, right? He did talk to me yesterday, but he messaged me a few minutes after I went to sleep, I guess, so I didn't talk to him.

Last night I went on another "I don't want to go home so I'm going to do everything possible not to" trip. After I did the volunteer thing (at the place that records textbooks for blind people.. party time) I went to my brother's and me and his boyfriend watched Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion while my brother studied. His boyfriend was high, and he was kinda funny. First of all, he made some origami. Like, really awesome origami! I was all, "Woah, awesome!" And then he got the munchies and ate like everything in the refrigerator. That was fun times, let me tell ya.

My brother's roommate, this groovy lawyer chick, came home and then she left a few minutes later in her pajamas. I asked her where she was going because I'm nosy like that, and she said she was going to her boyfriend's. This was at 9:30, and it made me so sad. I used to do that.. just go to Matt's so I could sleep in his bed with him. And I tried not to be too sad because I know that someday it'll happen to me again, with someone new probably. I am not going to live my live lonely and alone, because that's just not what I do. Right? Right.

Then I left at 10 and drove around for an hour, listening to Loveline. I pretty much drove the same route I did on Monday night, but that's not important. It was important to not go home, where I'd sit there and obsess over things. When I first moved here, I was perfectly content to stay in my apartment all the time and watch DVD's all night, but that isn't fun anymore. Because I keep checking to see if Matt has said anything to me every 15 minutes and that drives a girl crazy, you know? So yeah. Driving was good times.

You know what I'm really developing a taste for? I really like hummus. Hummus.. mmmm.

I have two appointments with temp agencies today. It should be a party, let me tell ya. For now, I think I'm gonna go work out. I totally did 2 miles on the treadmill yesterday, can you believe that? It's like a record for me. I was one sweaty bitch, sure, but it was a good sweaty thing going on. Yay sweat!

Well, nevermind about that Thomas dude. It would seem that Thomas doesn't want to meet me unless we're having wine in front of the fire at his house on our first date. Right, like that's gonna happen. Silly boys, I swear.

I'm going to shut my piehole now.

*****

What was Liz doing a year ago?

"We were in the middle of working on it today, and I'm just kinda sitting there watching whats going on, and there's 6 people around me, and I fart. Really loud. Like, unmistakably, it was a fart and everyone heard it. Nobody acknowledged it, but I know everybody heard it. One chick even walked away as fast as she could. Dear god, that was embarrasing."