Consequently, I graduated a year ago. Which probably deserves its own entry. Maybe later.

In going through this entry, I noticed that I talked about Axl A LOT. I don't know if that's cool or maybe just a little bit pathetic. Probably both.

Here we go on this fun journey through time! Just for fun, I'm gonna mix it up a little! WOOHOO! THE FUN NEVER ENDS!

December 14th, 2002 -

"I am do freaking drunk right now, you juswt can't understand. I had 3 margaristas~ and I graduating too. Can you image? me and dorkus boy and old friend, shlpppiong fr p-orn when I'm drunk? I can't imangine anyting better., to tell you the dtrutyh.

oh my godo good almight, I can't imagine how fun I'm having right now."

June 14th, 2003

"And for those of you who are wondering.. oh my holy God, did I have one of the most entirely explosive orgasms of all time last night. It didn't even take long, and it was like no time had passed. We know what we like, we know what each other likes, and we do it, and it's effective. Ex sex is best! Even when it's not sex."

April 14th, 2002 -

"My year has been okay so far. My grades don't really suck, I'm kinda making friends at work, I'm pretty much doing good at work. All this good stuff is because of one thing. Yes, that's right, it's because Axl wished me, and a couple of other people, a happy new year. I mean, I don't talk about that a lot, but it's a huge event. I went to a Guns N Roses concert! I saw the object of my 10 year obsession! I AM A LUCKY BITCH!"

October 14th, 2002 -

"Anyway. I've decided that I need some good and dirty sex. Not romantic and happy sex, dirty, grimy, nasty sex. I even had a dream about having some dirty sex last night, even though I don't remember with whom. "

July 14th, 2001

"Which, to be honest, is true. But he lost the right to accuse me of being selfish after he almost dumped me for Ms. Wonderful and Perfect. I wonder what would have happened if he did dump me. What I would have done this summer. If I would have been so successful in school. If I would have worked harder to lose weight and find a job and make friends. Or if I just felt so sorry for mself that I couldn't do anything."

August 14th, 2001 -

"Clairice (based on the book Hannibal, which I was a little enamored by)
As he enters the confines of my divided mind
he closes the shades, opens the wine
my eyes are empty, my thoughts are dust
the trouble of lust
the world continues but time stands still
the vibration of my sould
I can no longer feel
heat has melted my weary mind
I give it over to him
he seems so kind
the cobwebs on his heart are so easily swept away
much to my dismay"
September 14th, 2002 -

"Axl is what set the rules for people who I find attractive now. I didn't like guys with long hair before Axl, and now I do. I don't know about the red hair, though.. the 2 guys I've dated with red hair, both who had the intials JW by the way, have been trouble."

July 14th, 2003 -

"But I know I won't do that. Because I am in love with someone who I have complete and total blind faith in. Until he really screws me over again, I'm just not going to do anything. I'm going to enjoy the fact that he called me last night, told me he missed me and he was thinking about me and he couldn't wait to see me on Friday. "

November 14th, 2001 -

"Also, I think this deserves a mention, it's from Andrew's Interview, and it kinda got me all excited in the pants:

"When I say striking too, I don't just mean nice, I mean anything that makes you actually really notice it for some reason. The other day I found a diary whose design was made up almost entirely of a big picture of Axl Rose, how could I not read that?"

January 14th, 2003 -

"I don't wanna have sex. I want orgasms, but not sex. So I might just have to be doing it by myself, cuz I don't know the rules of sex these days. And I'm really not looking forward to finding them out, either."

March 14th, 2002 -

"I haven't really talked much about Axl lately. He lives in my heart, though. And the poster right above my computer is the first thing I see when I wake up in the morning, which is really quite nifty.

I gotta go back to work now. I so wish I could just saunter in there with my cleavage baring tank top, but people don't really appreciate that with the fat chicks."

September 14th, 2003 -

"In other news, I hope to obtain some happy drugs this week. Do I have to go to the psychiatrist more than once or will he hopefully provide me with the goods on the first occasion of our meeting? Just give me the damn drugs, damnit."

March 14th, 2003 -

"I didn't envision my life this way at all. 2 years ago I didn't see myself in Austin after graduation making $230 a week being a secretary without Matt, without my life support system that he provided. It's just so strange how things work out.. you don't plan for them, but they just happen anyway, and the best you can do is suck it up and let it happen. Some things you just don't have any control over."

September 13th, 2001 -

"I just got out of my Abnormal Psychology class. My teacher is a bitter old man. He's kinda like Bill Cosby, but he's like the old, mean, bitter version of Bill Cosby, you know? His kids all left, little Rudy (who I'll always remember as getting her period when they were talking about puncuation in class) is an adult now, and I think they had another kid but I don't know who that one is. Anyway, his kids are all gone and Mrs. Cosby divorced him and now he's teaching my Abnormal Psychology class."

November 14th, 2003 -

"But wait! There's more! I'm apparently a big slutted ho, as well!

"Honestly, your largely sex based content is sort of alien to me. While it�s your life and your can get as horny as you like, you rather surprise me with your openness and willingness to share your various exploits in your ex-boyfriends series. I thought it was sordid and mildly traumatic.."

February 14th, 2003 -

"Do you know how many people that are probably having sex right now at this exact moment? Like, millions of people are having crazy "Ooohh you got me a diamond ring and some roses, I must give up the poontang now" kind of sex."

October 14th,2003 -

"I haven't rented any porn for at least 2 months, but the completely sad part about that is when I came up to the counter to do the renting fun, the dude there already knew my name AND license number. Without me having to tell him. After not being there for 2 months. I don't know whether to laugh or cry."

August 14th, 2002 -

"After that whole ordeal, I picked my baby up from Obediance School, where the chick there said that he "had no problem with the darker skinned people." As I've said before, my puppy is racist, so I'm glad he was on his best behavior at this place."

April 14th, 2003 -

"I don't want to jinx this.. and I don't want to think that just because I've had a good 3 or 4 days, the worst part is over. But I feel good. I took a long walk in a little park by my apartment today, and I realized that things are going to be okay. I'm really making progress here.. I think."

November 14th, 2002 -

"Location: DALLAS, TX

Date & Time: Thursday, December 19, 2002 7:30PM

Your Tickets: SECTION 14, ROW E, SEATS 2 TO 3

GUNS N ROSES"

December 14th, 2001 - (2 years ago!)

"Then we went shopping, by Psycho Boy's old neighborhood, which I usually tend to avoid, if possible. I needed gas, so we stopped at a gas station by the highway, and once we got in there I remembered it was a gas station that me and Psycho Boy went to once and it kinda freaked me out. I know that's a little dorky, to be freaked out by a gas station that I went to with my boyfriend 5 years ago. But our relationship was just so fucked up, anything over in that area tends to freak me out."

June 14th, 2002 -

"Anyway.. I've never won an argument with him. Well, maybe like.. 2 times. In almost 5 years. He's just that good at arguing his point, and I can't make any valid points because he took all of them. This is sooo very nerve racking, but it's just another reason why I liked him in the first place, and just another thing I have to deal with it."

May 14th, 2003 -

"I MISS HIM SO MUCH! And it's getting so fucking stupid now. 7 MONTHS! 7 months of not being together anymore. 7 months of not getting it on, having multiple orgasms together. 7 months of not going to hotels together, waking up together, watching TV together, snuggling together. It's making me sick. "

October 14th, 2001 -

"Also, Crazy Friend and I got in a little tiff over a Sports Illustrated. We went in Dentist Friend's kinda brother's room and he had the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition, and Crazy Friend was like "Oh Gross!I can't believe he has that!" And she practically ran out of the room. Maybe I've desensitized myself from that through my avid porn watching, but I just thought that reaction was a little extreme, and I told her so. She didn't seem to appreciate that, but got over it."

May 14th, 2002 -

"Thank you for appreciating my boobs so much. Thank you for driving 18 hours with me just to see him play, and thank you for waiting in 4 hour traffic at a complete standstill, and thank you for sleeping in the car with me when we didn't have a hotel to sleep in after the concert, and thank you for whisking me home after we found out about my dad. You know how much all that meant to me. I know you do. Thank you for giving me praise when I didn't think you would. That was a nice surprise. Thank you for teaching me other things, too. About love, lust, and threesomes with your boyfriend."

February 14th, 2002 -

"I went to a happy little V-Day party with my nice Christian girly friends. I met some new people, ate some cupcakes, brought the house down with my lovely karaeoke skills. Guess what I sang? That's right. Someone had the Can't Hardly Wait soundtrack so I sang Paradise City. That was good times. Then I found an Elton John CD and sang Your Song. I'm really branching out there, right, right?"