I am talking to Jeep Girl, aka Beth, on IMs right now. Its fun times. The last time I talked to her was when I was having my whole buliemic for a week episode during the summer. That wasn't good. Not at all. I am also talking to Matt.. I invited him to come here this weekend, but he's going on a road trip with his road trip guy. I don't think he's ever going to come here. I don't think he cares about coming here. I don't think he cares much about anything that has to do with me, really. I will not get my panties in a wad about such things. I just won't.

Now, in other news. Today was an interesting day for me. A very noteworthy day. It was the start of my new post-graduation, post-Matt, post-Dallas job. It was a reality check, a "you fucked up in college so now you get to be a secretary" kind of thing. It really is interesting when I think about it. When I was in college, I really saw myself having some sort of fantastic job after I graduated, one that wouldn't be defined by 9-5 or anything like that. And it was going to pay well. And it was going to be in my field, and close to Matt, so I could go to his house every night and make dinner.

Yeah, that didn't happen. It took me 2 months to find this job, and it's an okay job. $8.50 an hour for answering phones and copying crap.. it's not that bad. I can definitely live with this job for another 5 months. I don't know what I'll do when I get back to Dallas, but we'll deal with that when we get there.

I hope I can stay busy, because I really don't think I'm any closer to getting back in Matt's good graces. He's being sweet, but he's definitely not initiating anything. I can't keep doing this.. I'm trying to cultivate something that isn't there.

Bah.

*****

What was Liz doing a year ago?

"I looked foxy today, Diaryland. I wore a skirt for the first time in 37 years. I wore my black Doc boots and some jewelery and yeah, I was hot. Even Jeep Girl, who is in my class today, thought I looked hot."