I had just, days before, gotten fired from my temp job. I had also seen Matt that weekend when I went to Dallas, where it was revealed that he and the girlfriend had gotten back together. These things, plus just my general disposition, came together to make me feel like a big steaming pile of cow dung.

Why am I telling you this? I'm telling you this because I'm feeling so much better now. And I know a lot of it has to do with the job, and some of it has to do with the relief that Matt and the girl aren't together anymore, and a lot has to do with making friends and knowing that if I wanted to, I could hang out with 3 or 4 different people tonight if I just picked up the phone and asked. That's big. That's huge. And some of it might have to do with just liking Austin, and knowing that I just extended my lease until February just because I really want to make an effort to improve myself.

And yes, there's still some things holding me back. I don't know how the Matt thing will turn out. My job is somewhat terrifying, although things went much better yesterday. I am gaining weight because for 2 months, I had 24 hours a day in which to work out, and now that I actually have one of those job things I can barely make it there more than twice a week. And during the day, I keep myself awake by eating Butterfingers and drinking Dr. Pepper. Not a good combo!

I have not yet accomplished the goals that I went to Austin to accomplish, but there's still time. And I'm learning so much about myself and my ability to deal with weird stuff and life events and experiences and all that. The point is, I'm proud of myself. PROUD OF MYSELF, DAMNIT!

Now I want to talk about work. I have never spent 8 hours a day in one place with the same people for such a long period of time. Not at school, not at any other job, nowhere. And I have bonded with these 30 people. Don't insult my call center buddies because I will kick your ass.

I used to go out for lunch, but all this week I sat with my colleagues and ate sandwiches with them. I learned who was a lesbian, who's 2 weeks late, who never wants to have kids, who's missing training to go on job interviews, etc. I bonded with them! I knew something was wrong last week when people kept having to look at my name tag, after 3 weeks of training, to see what my name was. So now I'm integrating myself among the class, and people know me. And they like me, damnit.

And when they let us loose on the floor to take calls from real people on Thursday, we were like monkeys being released from a cage. Finally, a chance to put to use all that we learned in training. Thursday was really bad for me and Mrs. Tammy Cooper. I will remember Tammy Cooper for the rest of my life as the woman who introduced me to the world of Customer Relationship Management.

But fortunately that ended with the best possible results. I seriously had dreams about Tammy Cooper and her situation because I was going to have to call her back yesterday and tell her that I'm sorry her new car is a piece of shit, but there's nothing we can really do for her at this time. But people were apparently praying for me, because when I got to work on Friday and I looked at her file in the computer, it was revealed that someone else had taken over her file. Thank.You.God. Such sweet relief I felt at that moment.

The calls yesterday weren't nearly as bad. I learned that brakes and calipers are covered under the bumper to bumper warranty, you can't get a military discount unless you're active or retired military, that people really do call and suggest ways on improving the cars (more head space, etc.), and other assorted fun things. I also got to talk to some dealerships. Here's something I didn't know: Service Managers at dealerships are seriously the nicest people ever. You'd think they would want to get off the phone as quickly as possible, but they're SO NICE! I even talked to a female service manager in Alabama. That impressed me.

I've never had a full time job for more than 3 weeks, and this one is now going on a month, and it's fascinating to me how real jobs work. Like, everyone works together and helps out and makes sure everything goes properly. I am truly fascinated by my place of work. We work for one of the biggest corporations in the world, and that is truly terrifying yet oddly stimulating.

I'm going to like this job, I think. I didn't think that yesterday when I woke up and dreaded going to work to talk to Mrs. Tammy Cooper, but I feel that way right now. I like it. It's a challenge. And there's always something to do.

And for now, we have partners and I really am glad that we do. I couldn't do this by myself, not yet. And my partner is awesome. She fumbles and says the wrong thing sometimes and we're both equally clueless with the whole way of doing things, but she still kicks ass. She got her first compliment yesterday! The guy who wanted to know about the dimensions of the 2004 Chevy Colorado told her that she sounded like an intelligent person. I was happy for her.

Anyway. I'm happy. For now. I know I wouldn't truly be happy if I knew Matt was back with The Girl (that is her new name now), so I need to work on that aspect of it. But we talk a lot. We use all methods of communication.. emails, IMs, text messaging, even this nifty thing called the phone! It's been a week and some change since the whole thing went down, and it's been kind of a liberating week. I just hope this feeling doesn't come crashing down. I don't think it will.. I look back to February and March and see the feelings of hopelessness I used to have, and I really don't feel that way anymore, not at all. So hey, good times.

I got a new Maxim at the grocery store today. I swear, that magazine is totally like the holy grail for me. I'm afraid of devouring it in one sitting because then I won't have it to read anymore. Pathetic, sure, but you know.. whatever blows your skirt up, right?

I was totally antisocial last night. I just wanted to chill and spend money I really don't have. I saw Finding Nemo (such an awesome movie!), went to the bookstore but left pretty soon after because the Harry Potter mania was pretty crazy and annoying (what is it with you Harry Potter people? You have to have the book at midnight? You can't wake up and get it on Saturday morning? Lordy.) and then I rented some movies (The 2 disc Terminator 2, There's Something about Mary with director's commentary, and the Fugitive) and ate some chicken at Taco Cabana and came home and watched some porn. A single girl's idea of heaven.

This is so long! Rock on.

Okay, you should all click on this right now if you want to laugh your ass off. JUST DO IT! I command you.