baby maybe someday
2003-02-01 My fabulous and exciting jet setting life.

Blah.

It's 2:30 AM and I woke up a few minutes ago because I was finding it hard to sleep in the first place. I came home from seeing The Recruit (a fantabulous movie) and I tried picking up a conversation me and Matt were having earlier, but he said something to the effect of "I think something's really wrong, I have to go." So then he left, and I was wondering what in the hell was wrong.

So I wake up and he's messaged me while I was asleep, so we talk a little, and it seems that his girlfriend apparently had a mental breakdown. That's fun, isn't it? And now I'm staying up late, even though I'm cold and have to wake up early to go to the Humane Society orientation that's only held once a month. I swear, the things I will do for this boy.

I sit here and give him advice even though it kills me to hear what he's saying.. he said he had to go to her house and comfort her while she's saying stuff like she doesn't deserve him.. it kills me to envision him holding her and assuring her that she does deserve him and that he loves her and wants her to get better.. that drives me crazy. And it drives me even crazier because I sit here and tell him not to give up on her right now.. I know that's the right thing to say, but it hurts me to say it because I love him and want him all to myself and if I could just say "Damnit! Dump the crazy bitch!" that would really be nice right now.

This is what I get for talking to him. This is what I get for earlier today telling him that he can talk about it if he wants to because I want to be there for him. This is shit. This is not what I want anymore.

Anyway.

So, what did I do today? I talked to Chris a lot, who continues to give the sage advice "DON'T TALK TO MATT!" I bought an outrageously expensive candle at Central Market. I had a really good workout that consisted of doing almost 2 miles on the treadmill and reading this really good article in Spin about what happened to Axl. I don't really know what happened to Axl, and I don't really care that much anymore. He's too scary of a character to pin all my hopes and dreams on, but that's okay. I should have picked someone else to idolize back in the day.. like Mr. T or Scott Baio or something. Harmless people like that.

I was going to go see 8 Mile again but I left here a little too late and went to a different theater to see The Recruit. Al Pacino is good stuff in that one, good stuff. I came back and watched Tom Hanks, my total hero, on David Letterman and watched some show on Animal Planet that featured a german shephard with a really crazy insane amount of fleas and tics. That was really sad.

This is my exciting day. Tomorrow I will go learn how to volunteer at the Humane Society. I will get my hair cut a crazy length, like 3 or 4 inches perhaps. I might even go to the Texas History Museum with my brother. It just can not get more exciting.

Oh, and I'm also thinking about applying to work for THE MAN, otherwise known as the IRS. Someone at church told me that they have tons of job openings for data entry stuff. I'm thinking of applying there because they said you have to be able to type 50 words per minute, and I type 80. So they gotta take me, right? And it'll be a nice job to have until the summer. I can work 9-5, come home and work on my novel, and then live a nice and happy life.

Aren't you jealous of me? Don't you want this to be your life too?

back & forth random
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