Before I talk about Josh, I have to discuss Scott. Scott and I met in yearbook, and we got along quite well. We became friends because I was absolutely fascinated by email at the time and I sent everyone in my yearbook class an email, and Scott answered it. Thus started a beautiful friendship.

Scott and I were much better off friends, but I really wanted to make it work romantically with him. He cracked me up. We always had so much fun together. But I wasn't attracted to him in the slightest. Not one bit. I tried and tried, but it just wasn't there. The only time I was remotely attracted to him was when he suddenly got a girlfriend. I dug that whole unobtainable thing about him.

We went on one date, which consisted of going to see Romeo and Juliet at the movie theater. I liked him and I probably would have continued to date him had it not been for the sudden appearance of Josh.

I met Josh on Matchmaker. Yes, another Matchmaker boy. We were first friends, for like 2 or 3 months. I don't know why, but he took a shining to me. We'd talk on the phone a lot, but just as friends. We had a very intense friendship, though. We'd fight about every week, about stupid things, pointless things. He liked me, I didn't like him, and it was just a crazy cycle.

I've talked about the Josh story a lot here, so I'll just kinda recap it now:

There was one week of my life that kinda changed everything. Monday, I started to realize that I had weird feelings for Josh. Tuesday, I was late coming home from school because my friend Beth was taking me home and her mom had to stop at the miniature doll store before she could drop me off. That day, Josh was so concerned that I was late (because apparently the second I got home I would get online or what not) and I found that to be kind of touching. By Wednesday, I was admitting my feelings. By Thursday, we were officially "going out." By Friday, we were pledging our love for each other. And we hadn't even met yet.

That kinda tells you about the intensity of our relationship. It all went very, very fast. I lost my virginity to him only about 2 months after we started dating. He grew very possesive of me, even before we ever went out. The sad part about that was that I was 2 years older than him.

But Josh did a lot worse than the surface things.. like isolating me from my friends, mentally and physically abusing me, lying to me about anything and everything, threatening to kill himself if I even though of dumping him..

No, the worse thing that boy did to me was take away my spirit. When I first met him, I was pretty happy go lucky. I was easily entertained. I wasn't completely happy with my appearance, but I feel like I was on the road to acceptance. I had friends. I had good times. But he came along, and I lost so much more than my virginity. I lost my pride, and my spirit, and my innocence.

I know that sounds lame, but it was true. I remember feeling a little like I didn't belong before he came along, but after.. it was a whole new ballgame. It was like he awakened everything that I hated about myself and just constantly used it against me. It was not a fun time in my life, but I accepted it because I thought I loved him, and I thought he loved me. And, it was really good sex.

I haven't talked to Josh in about 4 years. That's a good thing, just so we all know. Most of my bitterness about that is gone now, but there's still some hanging around. Mostly I just wonder what my life would have been like if Josh was never in it. What path I might have taken. I know its useless to wonder about things like that, but there it is.

He was a bad guy. A truly bad and vindictive person. I know he'll probably get what's coming to him at some point in his life, if he hasn't already, and yeah, I'm pretty happy about that. He sucks.

He wasn't even that cute. He was wearing velcro shoes when I first met him. Thanfully, I talked him into buying Docs before it was all over. He did have cute auburn hair, though. And an earring. But he was uncircumsized. And that wasn't always such a pleasant thing.

Okay, I'll shut up about Josh now. I should have kept Scott around.. he was good people. Scott and Josh did not get along.. they were both on Matchmaker and Josh kinda flaunted the fact that I had chosen him over Scott, who was not really a big fan of that. I think Josh actually called Scott once when we were having sex. He was just that kind of guy.

There's more about Scott, but my head hurts and I just wanna go sit back on the sofa and watch Legends of the Fall.

So the moral: Yay Scott, boo Josh.

Coming up next: The story of James, the boy who couldn't pump gas properly. He's the last one before Matt!

Other ex-boyfriend tales: Eddie, Charles, Ryan,Joseph,Adam,and the two Chris'.