I hate this. I thought I'd never have to be out there again. But I am. So I might as well shut up about it.

Today is my first rainy Austin day. It's so purty outside, I wanna go out and play. Of course, it's 39 degrees, so that might not be such a great idea. But I love rain and I love dark skies and it brightens my mood, as weird as that is.

Blah.. I couldn't sleep again last night. I can't remember the last night I've had 8 hours of total and complete sleep. Must be nice to have that, but I toss and turn and blame it on my pillow, but it's my.. inner turmoil. It's not letting me sleep. Like last night.. I kept thinking about since Matt is apparently in some kind of emotional pain, maybe he could come here today and I could help him or something. I know that's horrible and dangerous and all kinds of crap, but first of all, I don't like that he hurts. It sucks to know that he isn't happy. And you know.. other assorted things.

I wouldn't dare mention that to him.. I'm not even going to talk to him unless he talks to me first, so yeah. It's just a weird little fantasy thing, and I just have to get over it.

I need a job, is what I need, so I can have some kind of pattern in my life and not sit here on Saturday morning watching A&E Biography on Lisa Kudrow, playing Monopoly, wishing Matt would talk to me and looking forward to MTV's Rockstar Saturday. Oooh yeah.

In other news, I lost 1 pound from yesterday's eating festival. Apparently working out helps you lose weight, how about that?

*****

What was Liz doing a year ago?

Nothing very interesting.