Tomorrow is Michelle's 2 year D-land anniversary. Mine is coming up in June.. fun times, I know. I was looking back at some of my older entries, like this one for example, and I'm just amazed at how completely different things are now. Back then I was just worried about studying hard enough to barely pass a test, when the weekend was coming so I could go see Matt, and all the upcoming road trips that were being planned. I didn't care about graduating or getting a job or getting dumped.. these are all things that just happen, and they did happen, and now I'm sitting here trying to deal with all the things that are different.

I didn't envision my life this way at all. 2 years ago I didn't see myself in Austin after graduation making $230 a week being a secretary without Matt, without my life support system that he provided. It's just so strange how things work out.. you don't plan for them, but they just happen anyway, and the best you can do is suck it up and let it happen. Some things you just don't have any control over.

Some things, some people, I just can't control. I have to let fate/God/whatever intervene. I can't keep trying to make things happen that weren't meant to happen right now, so I'm just going to stop. I'm going to sit back, work on myself and getting my shit together, and let the chips fall where they may. I don't have control over some things, as much as I hate to admit.

But I do have control over going to sleep right now, so I'll shut my big mouth and do that.

My point is that I give up. I've tried everything I know how to try in certain situations, and its just not working. So I give up. If certain things were meant to happen, they'll happen, with me intervening or not. So I choose not.

Good night.