1. I am FREAKING OUT about money right now. I have like.. $100 left for the rest of my life. I need to find a job this week. It doesn't matter what kind of job, it doesn't matter what I do, I just have to get one. No more sitting on my ass feeling sorry for myself.. I have to get a job. It can't be that hard. Seriously. I've already gotten 3 of them while I've been here. Now it's time for a 4th.

2. I've had a sociable weekend and I'm quite happy about that. Hopefully it'll give me momentum this week and I can coast on that while looking for a job.

Yesterday, I did my usual Saturday stuff - listened to my radio show, sat out in the sun for a while, worked out. I had the opportunity to hang out with my girls, but I kept talking myself into how nice it would be just to chill out and go see a movie or go to the bookstore or what not. But then I felt stupid about that, especially since I practically begged the girls on Thursday to call me if they were ever bored because I really need to get out of this shell I'm stuck under. So I called them and we went out and had mexican food and got drunk! Yay getting drunk with your girlfriends! That's highly underrated.

I can't handle my liquor, but neither can anyone else, apparently, so we all went back to Sarah's and talked for 2 hours about life in general. Seriously, I am the most judgmental asshole in the world. If we hadn't all sat down and talked about things, I wouldn't have discovered that Christy is capable of saying words like "cock blocking." I wouldn't have discovered that these girls are totally hardcore about things I didn't know they were hardcore about. I love my little Christian girlfriends, but sometimes I think they're incapable of having fun or being naughty and raunchy and stuff like that. But I'm wrong. And I'm glad I'm wrong about that.

3. While we were talking, it seemed like every conversation led to talking about Friends. Which is leading me to discuss my layout.

I LOVE this layout, but I feel weird about having it. I feel naughty. I don't think it's going to last very long. I don't really know what it is I feel uncomfortable about.. I think it just makes me feel like a silly teenager, and that's not really what my diary is about. So it's got to go.

But really, I don't think you guys really understand the obsession I have with Friends. I have been known to come home by 6 so I can watch a rerun I've already seen about 10 times anyway. Like, tomorrow for example. The show where they're at the beach and Rachel gives Ross that letter about how they were on a break.. that's on! The whole "On a break" stuff starts with that episode, and I really want to watch it! I don't have TIVO!

And when I see an episode I haven't seen before, which is rare, I get really really excited. And that's fun. This is the last season, so we'll see what happens. *sigh* Ross and Rachel HAVE to end up together. Seriously.

4. I've had some strange dreams over the past couple of days. Yesterday I had a dream that my teeth were falling out. I don't know if that has to do with my subconcious or the fact that I'm going to the dentist tomorrow.

And this morning I woke up after having a dream that I de-virginized Matt, and not even after getting married. He just decided he wanted to do it, and I was like, "Ok! Let's do it!" And we did it. And it was good.

5. Get a review!

6. GUHHHH! I REALLY NEED A JOB! REALLY REALLY BAD! I AM FREAKING OUT! BAHHHH! Okay then.

7. Here's where I talk about Matt!

He's being so cute! But I know he is so excited about not having a girl within 200 miles of him to bitch about how much football he's watching this year. He even got the NFL Sunday Ticket, $200! I don't quite understand the feeling of needing to bury yourself within the confines of every single football game known to man - high school, college, and pro. But that's what he gets his jollies from, and I'm not around anyway, so I hope he enjoys it now. Cuz when I'm back next year, I'm gonna put me some smack down.

Muahahah!

I do miss snuggling and other such things with him, but I haven't suggested coming down there any time soon. I think it'll probably be another 3 weeks before that happens, which is sad, but I have things to work on here. And he has football to watch there. Long distance relationships suck. But I'm pretty sure we all know that. And its only for another 4 1/2 months. I can handle it. Really, I can.

8. Summer is dwindling away, and fall is almost here. The high is only 92 today, and football season has started, and there's a lovely breeze during the night that has people exclaiming "I can't believe how good it feels out here!" It's almost time to bust out the sweaters and leather jackets and that makes people happy.

But I dunno.. this fall is just going to be so outrageously different from the past that I just don't really know what to do with myself. I know I've said this before, but seriously.. Every fall has been about birthdays and anniversaries and football games and road trips, and now what is it about? It's about me finding myself and what works. And that's good, but I fear that its not enough. I will have to find something, anything to keep my busy this fall because if not, I don't know.. I just really fear it. I am scared, to tell the truth.

9. I really need to clean my apartment right this second.

10. *sigh* I need a job.

I think that's all the smorgasboard I have planned for today, so go forth and conquer.

*****

What was Liz doing a year ago?

"I advise all of you not to drive behind me, or even in front of me, or in my passenger seat for that matter.

Yesterday I undertook the task of changing my shirt while I was driving. I actually took my shirt off and put another one on while I was on the highway! Isn't that exciting? I think it is."

What was Liz doing 2 years ago?

"Today BB and I hung out with our roadtrip companion, the one who's driven us to Canada and Mexico and all kinds of states in between, and also drove with BB up to Alaska last year. His girlfriend is 7 years older than him and has a 2 year old boy. I watched BB with the boy and I'm still amazed at how good he is with kids. I love that about him. While we were sitting on the sofa and watching ESPN and he was playing with the little boy, and I was just thinking, "I want this. I want to marry him and play with our kids and watch TV and watch high school football together." But that's probably far off. Like, 6 or 7 years perhaps. But it's nice to know that I have someone like him. He is my cutie pants."