baby maybe someday
September 11, 2004 Bunnies, PMS, and fat.

Man, it sure is a stressful day for a Friday. We've already had like, 3 different crises in the past 2 hours that I've been here this morning, one including a sewer explosion. The fun never ends.

My dad almost made me cry this morning, too, but I think that's probably because I'm a little PMS-ey these days. I've been on the pill for a week now and I haven't had my period yet, which is weird. So I know I'm on the bubble. It will be a relief when it actually happens. But the thing with my dad was a whole Outlook Express situation because I have his laptop and thus he can't access his email or something.. whatever, I don't understand. I've had AOL since 1996. Outlook Express is a complete mystery to me. Grawr.

Aren't you glad you know that? Ahh, the joys of polycystic ovaries.

Speaking of the ovaries, I have to go to the endocrinologist today. I've rescheduled this appointment three times because the doctor scares me. I've been seeing him for 10 years now and he tends to get mad at me and call me a "bad patient" when I relunctantly admit I haven't regularly been taking my pills. He's a meanie.

Anytway, in requisite pop culture news:

I think I might be a little bit in love with Joey Tribbiani. Not even Matt LeBlanc, but just Joey. Especially with the new show premiering last night.. man alive, he's all hot! He didn't used to be that hot on Friends! And last night's Friends rerun was the one where Joey and Rachel go on a "date" and Joey starts to have feelings for her and then at the end, she's watching Cujo and being all scared and she says "Aren't you scared?!!" And then he looks at her, cuddles up with her, and says "Yeah. I'm terrified." That almost made me sob last night. Which is a little retarded, but that's me.

And I must say that I've been really enjoying Spike TV's weeklong CSI marathon. I thought it was just going to be on Labor Day, but they've actually shown almost every episode, all seasons, and yesterday I got to catch up with a few episodes I haven't seen yet. Including "Butterflied" which is the best episode ever because Gil finally breaks down and has weird Sara love issues.

I'm almost (ALMOST) CSI'ed out for this week. It's been nice to turn on the TV and have it on all the time, though.

I really like the song "Somebody told me" by The Killers.

In other news, my roommate rocks. I was really weary of the whole roommate situation before I moved back to Dallas, but it's really turned out well. Living by myself for a year was really not a good thing. It made cultivating my weird behavior patterns easier, and that's not something I really need to make easier. And such.

I want to have a fat day today. I've been good all week, I've worked out every single day. GIVE ME QUESO!

"Mrs Robinson" is on AOL radio right now. I heart Evan Dando.

There is no particular boy that I'm obsessing over today. With Farm Guy, I have this weird balls-out obsession with him for maybe 2 or 3 days after I see him, but after that, I start thinking about all the consquences of what would happen if we did indeed start something, and then it starts to fade. That's why I'm going to wait a few weeks before going to the farm again. Like, maybe until my birthday. Because then we can have a party for me and I'll be the center of attention and we all know I'm a whore like that! TEE HEE! We need a pony. My stepbrother got a pony.

In other news, we still have bunnies. After giving the bunnies some food and such, they have grown and one of them has even opened his eyes! Here's an updated picture:

At this time a year ago, I was totally freaking out and plummeting down a depression spiral. It's good to see that I've moved far beyond that point, but it's also sad because it was a very scary time of my life. It's also nice to know that I'm not taking much time out of my life to bother with Matt these days. I used to be consumed by him, and now I really don't care what happens. I'm sure I'd care if something big happened, but right now, we're just coasting. And I just don't give a shit.

This was pretty much a completely useless entry, but I'm good at those. Check out the new layout on Mymichele. It's purty, eh? I'm thinking about moving to another diary here at D-Land, because I'm no longer AustinLiz, I'm not anything like the person I was in Austin, and I think it might be time to move on, make a new start. Let me know if you have any particular opinions on the matter.


a year ago..


I give up. I do. I can't do this by myself. I can't make a list of goals and just expect it to magically make everything better. I can't keep lying to myself about how fucked up I am. Because.. I am fucked up. There is something seriously wrong with me, and you know what? I'm tired of trying to do it by myself. I'm miserable. Completely miserable. And if going to a psychiatrist and getting something for this incredible feeling of worthlessness I have is going to make it better, than I'm going to fucking do it. I am a fucked up human being, and I'm tired of it."

2 years..

"And I think right now, with my weird Axl obsession, the answers to all those questions is YES. Unequivocally yes. I AM taking it too far. I DO need to reevaluate my sanity. Because like I said in my earlier entry today, I've fucking dream about the asshole every single night! ALL THE TIME! I'm getting tired of it!"

3 years ago.."I'm now going to get a footlong Turkey sub at Subway. Aren't you glad I tell you about my eating habits? Tommorow I'm going to start writing down everything I eat, because it's time to lose weight, damnit, and if I see all the crap I'm eating (yesterday I had a piece of pizza, a McDonalds Steak, Egg, and Cheese Bagel, Taco Cabana, and 2 Krispy Kream donuts. It just sounds horrifying when I write it down like this.) then maybe I'll stop eating like a pig."

back & forth random

So be it! My last entry ever. - November 16, 2004
701 - October 17, 2004
Buh bye: An Austinliz thesis - October 03, 2004
war of the roses - October 01, 2004
fucking debate! - September 30, 2004