Ohmygod. The Surreal Life? How freaking pathetic is this show? I feel sooo bad for Vince Neil. He was once this hard rockin beyotch that nailed chicks like Janine, and now he has to live in a house with fucking COREY FELDMAN and Gabrielle Carteris, the one that nobody gave a shit about on 90210? Oh my goodness. My heart goes out to poor poor Vince.

So now, porn. I suggest that if you think of me as having any kind of dignity, you probably shouldn't read this, because it might come off as a bit pathetic.

I've been interested in porn for a really long time, to be honest. It all started when my brother found the stash of dirty movies my parents had at the top of their closet. They had all the classic, Deep Throat, Debbie Does Dallas all that fun stuff. My brother would invite his friends over and we'd all sit around and watch it. I was about 10 years old. Pretty creepy, I know, but for some reason I just thought that was normal.

I got my first internet-like access when I was 11. It was called Yak, and it was fun times, let me tell ya. It gave me access to chatting to people, and soon I found myself in the seedy underground world of cyber sex. Yes indeed, I started out early. And it would be with chicks, not guys. I didn't lose my virginity until I was 17, but I was curious for a long, long time before that.

My freshman year of college, I really started looking at it online a lot. I bought a vibrator. At one point, I didn't even care that I was looking at porn while my roommate was in the room. That was probably a little pathetic, but at the time, I just didn't care. I was having some bad Matt times, and the porn was just comforting to me somehow.

Now I am a porn conniseuer, if you will. I seek it out. I got a membership today so I could start renting it. What is the point of this porn? It's to watch it, get off on it, and then turn it off. That's all. When I don't want to have some fun with myself (And after being single for 3 months, the having fun with myself is getting a little more frequent, believe me.), I aint watching the porn, dig it?

I don't know what it is about seeing the nekkid people on my TV. Mostly it's total and complete fascination with them. Why would someone be a porn star? Why would they sacrafice their body and their pride and their self respect to get out there and show the whole world what they have? I just couldn't imagine doing something like that. I mean, what if their dad sees them in that position? Aren't they embarrased? Is the money they get paid really worth it, because they're just putting all their stuff out there! It's fascinating to me.

And I know this sounds horrible, but lately, I am really digging the double penetration porn thing. One girl with 2, 3, 4 guys. I would never do that, but it looks like it would have all kinds of interesting sensations, and I really wonder what the chick is thinking when she's getting plowed by 3 different guys. Does it really feel good or are her moans just for show? These are the questions that are on my mind.

I don't think I have an addiction to porn, as I can go several weeks or months or however long I have to without getting my porn fix. And I don't really think it affects my life in any way, except for the fact that I have to hide it when anyone comes to visit me. And I think I watch it a lot these days because I can actually get myself off without the help of a vibrator. I was never able to do that before, and now I can. I'm proud of that, damnit!

And well, I still look at almost every single person I encounter and have some kind of sexual thought about them, but I've been doing that since I was like 10 years old. It's just a habit. A nasty, dirty habit.

I don't know why I just released this bit of information that all of you will immediately try to forget once you stop reading. I just really wanted to talk about it. Because porn is interesting to me, and I'm a chick, and that's just not supposed to happen. When I go to porn stores, people look at me like I'm an alien. Like, "What's the GIRL doing in OUR store?" Like I can't appreciate the fine art of hardcore fucking because I don't have a dick. I laugh in their face! HAH!

Anyway. That's all I have to say about that.