I'm so weird. The whole time in Austin I could only think about time going by so that I could come back here. I don't want to go back there, really, but I do admire the way of life I came to depend on while I was there. I could go to my brother's and watch DVDs while his huge doggy sat on my lap, or I could hang out with the girls, or I could just get in my car and drive around the city, whatever. And I still get emails from the girls when they're planning social activities, and it makes me want to just ditch my job on Thursday and go to Austin to hang out with them.

But I like it here, I do. I like the weather and how it picks a certain way of being and stays that way for the rest of the day. I hated how Austin would be rainy one minute, sunny the next. I like being close to my parents and I like living in the city where I grew up. I like how the traffic situation is nowhere near as bad as it is in Austin. I like knowing where everything is and not having to look everything up on yahoo. I like knowing where the good places to eat are. I do like being back, but there's certain things about Austin that make me crazy that I'm missing out on. I can't have the best of both worlds, and that sucks. Damn you, Austin! Damn you with my brother and churches and volunteering and pretty hills and Springy bluebonnets! Bastard.

Speaking of church, I went to the porn store on Saturday night. Isn't that lovely? But I needed some more porn, damnit.

It was kind of a seedy store and as usual, I felt a little uncomfortable. That's another thing I miss about Austin.. I actually rented porn there, and the dudes who worked there all knew me and I felt more comfortable in a place where people knew me. That's not weird, is it? Ehehehe.

I haven't been wacking it as much lately now that I'm getting some on somewhat of a regular basis (once or twice a week), but I still like to have a stockpile of porn in which to choose from. This makes me a raging pervert, yes. I understand that. And I'm comfortable with it, because I've been this way for such a long time now that I don't even care that it's not exactly normal anymore.

But the thing is.. I'm fascinated by porn. Not just for the sex and the grossness that it contains, but like.. by the people in it. Why are they doing it? What makes a chick decide that she wants to do a little double penetration action for the whole world to see? What do their parents think! I mean, they were all someone's little girl at one point in their lives. What made them go bad?! I almost want to do a documentary on these people. I want to know why they do it, and how they got in to it, and what they're thinking when they are getting plowed by total strangers.

I just thought I'd share that.

Speaking of porn, for shits and giggles I got the BabySitters Club DVD on Ebay and watched it yesterday. It wasn't bad! The girls in it pretty much matched how I thought of them in my mind when I read the books as a kid. Rachel Leigh Cook was Mary Ann, and the chick from Ten Things I Hate About You was in it, too. As for the rest of the girls, I looked them up online and a good majority of them ended up on Undressed, MTV's version of soft porn. Interesting. And a little sad.

Also a little sad? Me crying like a baby when I saw Jersey Girl. Within like.. the first 10 minutes. It seriously made me feel a little bad that Bennifer never made it as a couple and now they have to watch on the big screen to see what would have happened if they did. Good movie, though. I've never heard an audience laugh as hard as the one I was in at several parts of this movie. Good stuff.

Oh, and I have to note that when I was watching Crossing Jordan last night (actually a pretty decent show,) someone asked this dude where he wanted so and so to be buried, and he was all "Fisher and Sons!" Okay, shout out to Six Feet Under. Thanks for playing.

I'm boring today. I blame it all on my alarm for not being loud enough when it went off this morning, and as a result, me not waking up until I had about 10 minutes left to get ready. That has thrown me off all day today! I feel blech.

On a completely different subject, I spent some time with Matt on Friday. Nookie was had twice, which is impressive for us these days. We also went shopping at Wal-Mart which was SUCH A BEATING. I dunno.. shopping with him seemed to highlight everything that was wrong with this relationship - he spent way too long looking for cheese to buy, I walked behind him the whole time, and we had nothing to talk about on this hour and half-long excursion. Oh, and I also unfairly sterotyped him as white trash!

Here's our conversation:

(Me looking at the cans of Spam) "Hey, don't you trailer park people love this stuff?" (Cuz like, he grew up in a trailer park and such)

(Him, looking at stuff that isn't Spam)"Uh, no, but thanks for stereotyping me and where I grew up."

Yeah. Suave of me.

God, do I write some long entries or what?

Seacrest Out.