baby maybe someday
August 30, 2004 I can rest my head just knowing that you are mine...

Okay, so I usually don't choose to beat you down with my dreams, but the one I had last night was so odd that I feel I must share.

So, my brother is apparently some kind of journalist (in real life he's in real estate, so that's just weird.) and he gets to various destinations by helicopter. I mean he flies to places he can easily drive in town because well, he has a helicopter and he's a very important journalist.

He flies me and my mom to the top of the building where he will be interviewing Tom Hanks for a press junket or something. He's not supposed to take random people to the interviews he's doing, of course, but he knows how much I've always loved me some Tom Hanks, so he brings me.

Now when Tom Hanks meets me, he says that someone told him that I had no idea who he was! And I was all, "Of course I know who you are, I've been in love with you since I was 8 years old!(Which is true!) It's all these other losers that don't know who you are!"

And I guess that makes him happy because he hugs me and then tackles me and we like.. wrestle or something on the sofa.

So that was weird, but later, when we were all asking questions, I apparently offended him by saying, "Hey, you know that movie you were in called Big?" Like, doing a Chris Farley imitation, right?

And he says, "Uh, yeah."

And I was all, "Well, I loved that movie. It was good."

And then he got like 10 kinds of pissed off! And almost totally stopped the interview right there, like I disrespected him and his time. Before the interview was over, I said, "But what did you think of 13 Going on 30?!"

He didn't answer that.

And then later me and my friends are all sad because we all think Tom Hanks is a big asshole because he didn't like my question, and I am crying like mad, and I say, "It's so disappointing when we meet people and they turn out different than we expected!" And everyone nods like it's the most sage thing I've ever said.

Later, there's something about me saying I forgot all about the incident ever since I had amnesia.

So, that was a strange dream that makes me giggle a little. I have no doubt that Tom Hanks is probably a little bit of a dick after being such a huge celebrity for so long, but still, I don't want to think he is. I heart Tom Hanks, even if my subconscious hates him.


So the VMA's were quite a spectacle, eh? I thought it was actually a little boring. No near assasinations of hand-puppets, no superstar lesbian kisses, no GN'R comeback spectacular. Everyone got along. Everyone got up and danced to the most stupidly retarded "Lean back" crappola. Blah.

I did enjoy the Alicia Keys/Lenny Kravitz/Stevie Wonder performance.. that was good stuff. I really like Hoobastank's "The Reason", but I couldn't decide if the lead singer is just horrible live or he had some kind of weird voice thing going on. I dislike Yellowcard. And your mom.

What I'd like to see next year is a complete Guns N Roses reunion, with Axl and Slash and Duff and Matt or maybe even Steven Adler and Izzy. That would rock. But it's not ever going to happen as long as people are roaming the face of the earth.

I'd just like to share this from when I was recapping the VMA's 2 years ago, because it's all very exciting:

That is fucking AXL ROSE! I'm going to cry. I am seriouly going to cry right this fucking second.
oooh.. so happy.. sooo very happy..."

Wasn't that fun?


Speaking of Slash, I want to name my next dog Hudson, as in Saul Hudson, Slash's real name. I just thought you all should know that.

I guess if I'm naming my dogs, I'll share with you names for my kids. If I have a boy, I'd like Brandon Ryan. A girl, Olivia Rose. Yes indeed.


So the most exciting part of my weekend occured yesterday, when all of us went out and watched Farm Guy halter break the new baby horsie. That's when you try to put the halter on the horse for the first time.

He knew he was going to get thrown around a little, but damn! This little horse has some spunk in her! She threw him on the ground more than once. It took him a little while, but he finally got that thing on her, and it was a sight to behold.

But the thing about it is.. it was so super hot that I almost felt like having a cigarette after, and I don't smoke. Maybe it's the whole Texas upbringing and everything, but that Cowboy shit turns me on, man! MROW!

Right now it's not worth it to pursue this crush because of the trouble it would cause for various reasons. Maybe someday it will be, but I'm giving myself AT LEAST a year until that possibility could possibly present itself. That's a long time. But I think it's necessary.


My stomach hurts. I think there will be a lot of pooping today.


Currently playing on AOL's "hair metal" station: "Heaven", by Warrant. Good stuff! OH MAN! Now they're playing the live version of November Rain! I knew I loved AOL for some reason. (I've been using it since fucking 1996. Isn't that sad?)


Yay, Monday. Rock on with your bad selves.


a year ago...

""Your cervix looks beautiful!"

The words all girls want to hear at 9 AM."


"But Josh did a lot worse than the surface things.. like isolating me from my friends, mentally and physically abusing me, lying to me about anything and everything, threatening to kill himself if I even though of dumping him.."

2 years..

"Right now, I am watching Guns N Roses play on the friggin VMA's. Do you understand what I am saying? Axl? On the VMA's? There's been mixed reviews about how he did.. they're mostly saying he got winded by the end, and yeah, I agree.. but my god, the guy is 40 years old! Give him a break! This performance is such huge news.. it means that the GN'R Fans everywhere are creaming their panties, because we never thought our hero would ever come back!"

Three years...

"In other news, why is it that i always seem to be caught with my pants down? Everytime someone knocks on the door or some such, there I am, with no pants on, then I have to yell "Hold on!" while I struggle to find my pants and put them on."

back & forth random

So be it! My last entry ever. - November 16, 2004
701 - October 17, 2004
Buh bye: An Austinliz thesis - October 03, 2004
war of the roses - October 01, 2004
fucking debate! - September 30, 2004