What I love most about doing drunk entries is that even though I was barely able to stand up on my own last night, I still managed to log on AOL, get my password and stuff right on D-land, and then have the forethought to save it and post it. That's some good times right there.

I also always feel the need to apologize for being drunk half the time I'm actually drunk. I've always done that. I think it comes from having near alcoholic parents. Maybe.

However, getting drunk in front of the recovering alcoholic you're trying to impress might not be the best way to go about doing things.

Man alive, am I in trouble. This Farm Guy thing is not going to end up going very well. I know Donna is probably concerned about the situation. And I know Farm Guy is completely oblivious because he's still talking about chicks all the time. Apparently this mexican chick he has a thing for is now getting divorced, the same chick that practically started an argument with me when I told her I was 24. That doesn't make my pants very happy.

I don't know. I feel like this is a challenge that I have to accomplish, no matter how long it takes. It's definitely a sickness, and I probably should do something about it.

I just started taking my birth control pills again, which really adds some extra fun to the party. I've never quite been able to find BC pills that don't make me a little psycho.

I think I'm going to wait 3 weeks or so until the next time I go to the farm. I need to do some working out and stuff so the next time I come, I can take him by surprise. This time, I kept following him around and generally being annoying, but I couldn't help myself. I have issues! The sad thing is, my dad and Donna are going to some kind of charity event next weekend that I have no interest in, but once they mentioned that Farm Guy was going too, I immediately call my dad and ask if he has any extra tickets. I think that would be a good chance to maybe make a better impression than I did this weekend. 4 glasses of wine does not equal me making a favorable impression.

Anyway, now that I'm done beating everyone over the head with farm guy news, how about a little radio guy news?

Yesterday morning my mom woke me up at 9 AM while I was having a dream about Eminem. I was so seriously about to have sex with him when my mom called to interrupt. I was really mad! Come on, who doesn't want to have sex with Eminem?

I met my mom at the BMW dealership to get some stuff and realize that hey, my favorite Saturday morning radio show is doing a live remote about a block away from the dealership! So, I go over there and I sit down and watch my favorite radio guy do a show. It was really quite stimulating.. the guy is still just the epitome of hotness to me. I sat pretty close to them and I saw Radio Guy look at me a few times, possibly trying to figure out why I looked familiar, but that's okay. We shared a moment once upon a time and that's all my twisted little mind needs.

I have nothing to do tomorrow. I'm going to work out, I know that for sure. I'm going to go swimming at Donna's. There will definitely be a little CSI marathon action. My roomate seriously sat on our sofa for 8 hours and watched the Trading Spaces marathon today.

Oh yeah, and Labor Day seven years ago is when I met Matt for the first time. If I care enough, maybe I'll do an entry. But I've already done three of those Labor Day entries and I don't think anyone really gives a shit anymore, most of all me. So.

This entry brought to you by the Letter H for FUCKING HORMONAL AS HELL, NEED TO GET LAID AND FUCKING SOON. REALLY SOON. FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

After I finish this I'm going to go work out and try to work on my shattered pride. I really kind of embarrased myself this weekend. When we left today, Farm Guy said "Bye Elizabeth! It was nice seeing you." Like I'm some kind of stranger that stops by every now and then. Ouch. Pride. Wounded.

Okay then. Apparently I wasn't doing any sorts of interesting things for the past three years on this day, so instead I enclose some lyrics that have a particular meaning to me right now.

*****

Well, I walk into the room

Passing out hundred dollar bills

And it kills and it thrills like the horns on my Silverado grill

And I buy the bar a double round of crown

And everybody's getting down

An' this town ain't never gonna be the same.

[Chorus:]

Cause I saddle up my horse

and I ride into the city

I make a lot of noise

Cause the girls

They are so pretty

Riding up and down Broadway

on my old stud Leroy

And the girls say

Save a horse, ride a cowboy.

Everybody says

Save a horse, Ride a cowboy

Well I don't give a dang about nothing

I'm singing and Bling- Blanging

While the girls are drinking

Long necks down!

And I wouldn't trade ol' Leroy

or my Chevrolet for your Escalade

Or your freak parade

I'm the only John Wayne left in this town

And I saddle up my horse

and I ride into the city

I make a lot of noise

Cause the girls

They are so pretty

Riding up and down Broadway

on my old stud Leroy

And the girls say

Save a horse, ride a cowboy.

Everybody says

Save a horse, Ride a cowboy

[Spoken:]

I'm a thourough-bred

that's what she said

in the back of my truck bed

As I was gettin' buzzed on suds

Out on some back country road.

We where flying high

Fining, whine, having ourselves a big and rich time

And I was going, just about as far as she'd let me go.

But her evaluation

of my cowboy reputation

Had me begging for salvation

all night long

So I took her out giggin frogs

Introduced her to my old bird dog

And sang her every Wilie Nelson song I could think of

And we made love

And I saddled up my horse

and I ride into the city

I make a lot of noise

Cause the girls

They are so pretty

Riding up and down Broadway

on my old stud Leroy

And the girls say

Save a horse, ride a cowboy.

Everybody says

Save a horse, Ride a cowboy

What? What?

Save A Horse Ride A Cowboy

Everybody says

Save a Horse Ride a cowboy.