Driving home from work this afternoon, I realized that August 17th, 1997, was the last time I offically had sex. I say officially, because really, it's all very complicated and hard to describe.

Seriously. 7 years ago. After that, I dumped that guy because a. the sex was pretty damm bad and b. because he was obviously not interested in getting over his ex girlfriend. And then, two months later, I met Matt. And the rest is history.

Most people I've talked to about this over the years have all thought that it's just not normal to not have sex, especially when it's not for religous or moral reasons, and especially when "everything but" is okay. I'm starting to agree with them, man. I think I need to get laid. And soon.

But I'm just not confident enough to even think about letting a stranger see my giant bulbous body right now. There are a few select people that I would totally do the deed with at this point. This is a very short list.

1. Matt. That boy has to lose his virginity someday. I mean.. officially.

2. Farm Guy, because the thought of seducing him is a weird inappropriate challenge that I seem to want to conquer;

3. Ex-boyfriend Ryan. Oh man.. if I ever see that boy again, there will be sex. Even after almost 10 years, I still think about him every single day;

4. Axl Rose. Just to say that I did.

Oh, and did I mention that I've only "offically" had sex with two people? Seriously, I'm 24. That's not normal. 7 years with one guy and no thoughts of marriage really isn't all that normal either.

*sigh*

I need some sex.

Here is a quote from an entry I did two years ago that I absolutely love. It makes me giggle.

"Anyway, I've noticed something in the land of me and BB. When I come here for the weekend, it's always inevitable that at some point, there will be nooky. We don't usually not have nooky, and if we don't, it's for a good, spoken for reason.

So, I think our subconsciouses realize that we are male and female, and that we shouldn't even talk or interact in any other way until we get it on. It's like we aren't functioning properly unless we get it on first, and then everything goes back to normal. So, until we get it on, our conversations seem almost a little banal in nature because we haven't taken care of what we really should have in the beginning! Because the laws of human nature and mother nature and the natural order of the universe dictates the rules of male and female relationships, right? It's like what Russell Crowe said in A Beautiful Mind.. "I find you very attractive. Your assertiveness tells me that you feel the same way about me. But ritual remains that we must do a series of platonic actions before we can have intercourse. But all I really want to do is have sex with you as soon as possible." Right? Right?"

Anyway, now that I've completely horrified the banner people, good times!

Raise your hand if you've gone to great lengths to avoid someone you went to college with and haven't seen for 2 years when you run into them at the gym!

*raises hand*

I just did not want to have to talk to her about "What I'm doing these days". What I'm doing these days is hardly impressive by any stretch of the imagination, and I really would have considered lying if we actually did have a conversation. So, avoid her I did. To my credit, she avoided me too. I'm pretty sure she saw me. We worked at the newspaper together, so like, we know each other and have had actual conversations.

Exciting, I know.

When I finish this entry, I am muting the TV, turning on a little Dvorak, and settling in to finally do some writing. I've been beating myself up pretty bad because I haven't written a lot more than this here diary lately, and for someone who aspires to be a good writer, that's not really all that impressive. So, here we go.

What am I going to be writing? Well, I feel the need to write some good old fashioned Baby Sitters Club fanfic. Not like, sexual stuff, but you know you always wondered what happened to them when they finally got out of high school. I'm going to do it! And it will be good. I'm writing it from Kristy's perspective, even. Rawk.

Before I go, I'd like to say how I really didn't give a shit about the Olympics, but I started watching and I became really intruiged, really fast. Especially with Michael Phelps and swimming in general. I love to swim, but damn! Those guys really go! It almost looks painful.

So, go America.

Also, speaking of Axl, I seem to be going through a little mini GN'R wave these days. Even with the demise of the Eagle, I've heard GN'R songs on the radio like 5 times in the past 2 days. I've also been listening to "The Blues" MP3 a lot more lately, because I just love Axl's voice in that one.. it's all high and emotional and purty and stuff.

I just felt like I should share that info with my reading public.

That is all.

*****

a year ago...

"But the time has come that I need to put this porn thing behind me. It's not benefitting my life in any kind of way, except for orgasms, but hey. I'm going to see my manly man on Tuesday night, and I think that will be taken care of without the addition of porn."

3 years ago...

"I went to my dorm today to see what was going on, and they put my 52 year old's roommate on the door even though she's apparently not coming. This irriates me, because last year, when the 37 year old came, I asked them politely to please not give me such old people for roommates. Apparently no one was paying attention and I get someone who's 31 years older than me."