I swear, tomorrow things are changing. If I don't change my mindset and other assorted things before I come back here, things are going to be bad. Really, really bad. And terribly annoying.

I just had this vision that if Matt knew I was so close to him right now, he'd invite me over, maybe we'd even watch the stupid WWE PPV. Why do I insist on being so annoying? I should get the hint.. I really should. He needs some space right now.. he hasn't said it like that, but the lack of emails and IMs and the fact he hasn't texted me back (I know.. I know.. it's really stupid, but what can you do) is just all coming together to show me that this is way overdue. I have to get over this, because it seriously is driving me crazy.

He is not who I am. He was, and that was wrong. He should have been part of who I was, not all of who I was. That was a mistake, and I have to pay for that mistake, and I have to correct that mistake. Because if I don't.. things will get a lot worse before they get better.

That's really all I have to say today. I'm going to spend the night at Donna's.. I probably should go home tonight but I just don't want to.

I just have to snap out of this. Soon. Now. Hours ago. Days ago. Months ago. Probably years ago.

But what can ya do sometimes.