baby maybe someday | ||||
So, Dallas. I do enjoy it here. I like the fact that MTV is, and always been, Channel 29. I like that it only takes 15 minutes to get to Matt's house. I like how my apartment is centrally located to everything, even though it is on a highway and when I go to bed I can hear the cars whizzing by. I do like that I'm so close to a lot of my family, but not so much sometimes, like when my dad is being a total ass, which seems to be more often than usual. I do seem to be settling back into a pattern of semi-depression. It's not that bad, but I still dread the mornings when I wake up. I still dread that point after 5 PM, when I'm done looking for jobs, where I have to find something to do for the rest of the night. I don't have a system here. I don't have anywhere to volunteer yet, I don't have a church yet, I don't have a job, and it's scary. I want things to do. And you know what? There's just not a lot to do. I need a job. I've been looking for the past 2 days, which is nothing like the 2.5 months I took to find the last job. I just want one. I want to be good at it. I want to last. I don't want to be fired. That is all I ask. I applied for some kind of secretary thing and like 2 seconds later I got an email back asking for an interview. I only applied for it because it's like 3.5 seconds from my apartment. I know I won't enjoy that kind of work. But it's an interview. And that's money. And I can't really be picky at this point. Matt and I are okay. I know when things pick up a little in my life, our relationship will too. I know that's sad to say, but I know it will. When we both have things to talk about and I don't just sit there and talk about puppies and he doesn't just sit there and talk about football, we're good. Right now that's about it. Having a roomate is weird. I mean.. good weird, I guess. We watch Friends together and bond. She has a boyfriend she stays with sometimes, I have a "boyfriend" I stay with sometimes. We both have the Daddy thing. We like the same kind of movies and food and stuff like that. It's just weird to share such a small space with someone you barely know. And the TV in my room still doesn't have cable! But that's okay. DVDs are fun. Phhttt.
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