I have two words for you, motherfuckers:

Front.Fucking.Row.

Well, that's three words. But okay.

I saw Velvet Revolver tonight. Amazing. Totally and completly fucking fantasticly amazing. Before I get into some serious details, let me share a few nuggets with you.

I touched the foot of:

Duff McKagen
Slash
Scott Weiland
Dave Kushner

I touched the hand of:

Matt Sorum
The lead singer of Living Things

I was bathed in sweat by:

Slash
Scott Weiland
Duff McKagen

Those were some seriously sweaty men up there, people. ESPECIALLY Slash. I mean.. I got a Sweat Shower from Slash. But.. I already took a shower when I got home so you can't come over and touch me. I know you're jealous, but your time will come.

And, I mean, this isn't some kind of small-time band! They have the #1 album in the country! They have millions of years of experience behind them! And I touched ALL OF THEM! And most of them SWEAT ON ME! MUAHAHA!

So, let me start at the beginning.

I got to the Granada around 4:45. It's only about 10 minutes from my apartment, and most of the people I talked to had come from Arkansas and Houston and crap, so I felt lucky with that convenience.

When I got there, I paid $15 for parking and stood in the parking lot for about 10 minutes because everyone else was. There was probably about 20 people standing out there, waiting for autographs and such. I didn't spend a lot of time out there because I happen to believe that "famous" people are above me, and as such, I don't wish to bother them. I will touch their shoe, though.

Here's a picture of their tour bus in the parking lot where everyone was gathered.. I'm not sure why I felt compelled to take this picture, but here it is:

So then I went to the front of the theater where approximately 12 people were already in line. So, I joined them. We all sat there in front of the Granada for about 3 hours, and it actually went by pretty fast. I called everyone I knew, so that took about 10 minutes. I re-read Welcome to Temptation for the 7,000th time. I made polite small talk to the chick next to me, because she was also by herself and also reading. So it was nice to find someone I could relate to.

The truth is, I really felt like I was among my people tonight. We are rock & roll people, we are Slash people, we are Guns N Roses people. The crowd was really outgoing, really casual (all jeans and T-shirts), and all really happy to be there.

The Granada is really small, so I could hear Velvet Revolver doing a sound check. I think I heard Duff singing Used to Love her, so that really excited my uterus.

Anyway, so we waited outside from 5 to 7:45, and then we entered the Granada. Since I was in the front of the line, I ran my ass to the front row of the place. I almost didn't make it to the front row.. I was on the very end. But damn, was I so fucking happy to be there. I was right next to the speakers, too. Which worried me. But that's okay.

So then we all waited for about 30 minutes and Living Things came on. I have to say, they really weren't bad. They only played 4 or 5 songs, and I was actually quite impressed with them. The lead singer had a little bit of a Jim Morrison thing going on. And he touched my hand! Although the way he went all Bono on us when he wrapped himself up in the American flag.. that was a little cheesy.

Singer for Living Things:

And being by the speaker wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I was more worried about the vibrations that was coming from them.. I felt like I was in the middle of Jurassic Park sometimes.

They finished, and then there was about 30 minutes of roadie fun.

There was no Axl-type lateness with this band. They showed up as soon as the roadies were finished doing their roadie thing.

Man alive.. I can't really describe the feeling I got when I saw Slash and Duff come on stage. It was seriously amazing.. I have been watching these 2 guys, respecting them and lusting after them and just KNOWING them for the past 12 years of my life. I just screamed my ass off.. it was just INCREDIBLE. Fucking incredible.

Scott Weiland is a strange looking little man.

They started with a whole bunch of Velvet Revolver songs that I am somewhat familiar with since I've been trying to listen to the CD in preparation. They all took turns standing on the speaker right in front of me, and as the night wore on, the profuse sweating did, too. It was flying all over the place, let me tell you. Scott Weiland gave a hot chick his sweat towel. He made personally sure that the hot chick, and nobody else, got his sweaty towel. Lovely.

The three GN'R songs that they rocked was Mr. Brownstone, Used to Love Her, and It's So Easy. It was nice to hear them, but it just seemed a little wrong coming out of Scott Weiland's mouth. He's not Axl! And it's just not right. There was a couple of STP songs thrown in for good measure, including Sex Type Thing. That was pretty awesome, by the way.

Now, I have to say, these guys ALL know how to rock a concert. They've all been around a time or two, and they know how to entertain. I had a great time at the Guns N Roses concert, but time hasn't been so kind to Axl. Nobody really respects him anymore. He's acting his age. He's just a strange guy. But with the dudes in these bands.. they just love to play, they love to entertain, and it totally shows in their performance. Scott Weiland may be a funny little man, but he sure does have some stage presence.

Not to mention the fact that they have a number 1 album right now.

What I really loved was the chemistry between Duff and Slash. You know they love playing together and totally and completely respect each other. They've been playing together for like.. 20 years, and it really and truly shows. They stood by each other a good portion of the time, and at the end, Duff grabbed Slash and pulled him off his perch on the speaker. It was cute. Cute boys.

The greatest thing about tonight was that it was all about pure rock & roll. No punk or country or any crap like that, it was straight rock. I LOVED that! I actually had a use for my headbanging skills tonight! My 13-year-old self would have been so proud of me. And everyone around me was doing the same thing. No pretenses, no "I'm too cool for school," everyone was there for the exact same reason: to rock.

I am really happy right now. I have finally fulfilled the duty I set out to accomplish when I was 12 years old - I have truly seen Guns N Roses. Maybe not in their purest form, but I have seen them all. Again, to see Slash up there, right in front of my face, a guitar legend... it was surreal. I am proud that I got to see such an exemplary concert.

I wish I could put into words what seeing Slash and Duff was like for me.. it was kind of like a dream come true, I guess.

I could kick myself for not bringing a camera with more film in it, but I got at least one that I'm proud of:

Yeah, baby! That's how close Slash was to me. At a couple of points during the show, he was on his knees, playing the damn guitar like.. insert clever metaphore here. It was.. erotic. It was hot, dude! Slash, all sweaty and guitar playing right in front of me!

*fans herself*

This was just a really incredible concert experience. First of all, it only cost $30 for the tickets. Second, getting there 3.5 hours early was sufficent enough to get a front row place. Third, this band knows how to give a concert. I love me some Axl and probably always will, but man.. he needs to take some notes from this band.

Some other observations/things I forgot to mention:

-Man, Matt Sorum is really kinda hot.

0I kept messing up the Heavy Metal Finger sign thing with the Hook 'Em Horns sign. Hey, Texas.

-Slash kinda looks like a puppy.

-I had to pee the entire time, but I wasn't about to give up my place.

That's all I can remember right now, but I'm sure I'll be updating this momentarily with stuff I forgot.

But, Slash sweat on me, and that's all that matters.