So, I have a new obsession: Editorial Researcher. I found this job at the work force center and well, I want it. I want it bad. Not only is it working at a newspaper, but it pays fucking $12.00 an hour. Hello! That's like, millions of dollars a year!

It's not as a reporter, I'd be assisting reporters. But that's not the point! I'm actually QUALIFIED to do this job! And when I finally got to talk to the chick in charge of it, she sounded really excited about me, cuz you know.. I majored in journalism and worked at a newspaper and everything. I really, really, really want this job. Badly. Now. I guess I'll find out soon because it starts on Monday. It's temp to hire, supposedly going into the fall.

I want it. I WANT IT, DAMNIT!

Anyway.

I talked to Matt a little today, long enough for him to say that he's still depressed, about the same stuff. So, I'm guessing: He can't find anything to fulfill him, his girlfriend still neglects him, his grades aren't that great, he still has a lot of hours to fill during the day and he just can't find anything to do.

This is so bad, and it's one of the biggest signs that we shouldn't get back together, like, ever, but it's true: I am kinda happy that he's depressed. Seriously. If he were happy, out celebrating every night, deleriously in love with his girlfriend, I would think that I had no affect on his life. When he was with me, he was still sad, but he wasn't depressed, he was happy. Plus, he was getting some twice a week! And he had my support every day, and I really think he benefited from that.

Don't get me wrong.. I totally know it was the right thing to do for him to break up with me. But he's sad! And he doesn't have a 4.0 anymore! When he met me, he didn't have a 4.0, and then the next 5 years, he did! And now he doesn't! Of course, that probably has something to do with the fact that he's in grad school now, but could it have something to do with the fact that I was his academic muse? Muahaha.

I know I sound like a complete bitch there, but I'm sorry. I guess I'm not a good friend because I'm happy my ex-boyfriend is depressed. He's been depressed since January.. I wish I could help him, but I can't. So whatever. I don't know what the point is.

I was supposed to go to a job interview thing at 7:30 tonight, but I think it's a big scheme and I'm just not going to go. And yeah.. I'm holding out for my editorial research job.

I WANT IT! I WANT IT NOW!

Okay then.