baby maybe someday
November 26, 2003 Thanksgiving week = josh! Of course!

Yesterday, I briefly allowed myself to think about Josh and the whole situation that occured a staggering 7 years ago. I can't believe it was that long ago, but indeed it was.

I was just driving to the bank or Mcdonalds or something when I remembered, "Hey, this is the week 7 years ago when Josh weasled his way into my life." And that is all I will allow myself to remember because Josh is a tool and we all know that. I will go ahead and post the whole story because as we all know, I'm just kooky like that. And because it might not be a big deal now, but I always equate the week of Thanksgiving with the start of a huge ordeal in my life that didn't end until the 4th of July. This was a big time in my life. A big stupid time, but what can you do sometimes.

I am currently at my mom's house, and later I will be travelling, like everyone else in the world, on the treacherous highways. So maybe you'll get an entry out of me, but maybe not. Right now, Nano is taking top priority. I have 4,000 words left, and I'm going to use them, damnit! Somehow I've written so much crap that I'm not even near done with the stupid story. Once I reach 50,000, I'll still probably have about 10 or 15,000 words left to write. But that can wait. Because we all know I'm a procrastinating beyotch.

Okay then.

Just a reminder - Psycho Boy = Josh. Dorkus Boy = Scott. Weren't things more fun back when I didn't give people names? Ahhh, those were the days.

This is from November 20th, 2001 -

"Uh oh. It's the week of Thanksgiving. You know what that means, don't you? Yep, it's time for me to be all kinds of nostalgic.

5 years ago, something happened. The planets moved and the spirits collided or what not, and I started having a relationship with Psycho Boy.

It was the week of Thanksgiving. I was dating someone in my Yearbook Class, someone otherwise known as Dorkus Boy. I liked Dorkus Boy alot, he cracked my shit up, but we didn't have much chemistry. Still, I was going to give it a try. (It's a little strange, because just as I was writing that, Dorkus Boy IMed me. Tee hee!)

Now, Psycho Boy and I had been friends for a few months. We had never met, but we talked online and on the phone. I should have known what a relationship would be like with him based on these phone conversations. I mean, we'd have nice, giggly conversations, but then we would fight. I mean, we were just friends and we'd fight all the time. Remember, girls, first impressions are always the right impressions. If a guy is psycho the first time you talk to him, that's a pretty convincing factor that he'll always be psycho.

Anyway. On Monday of Thanksgiving week, I started to develop some feelings for ol Psycho Boy. I think I may have told him this. By Tuesday, it was an all out obsessional crush type of thing. I was going crazy thinking about it, and wondering why the hell I had such a huge crush on this guy. I had a friend take me home from school, but first her mom stopped at like 35 different places, including the miniature doll store where she spent about 2 hours, and when I got home I realized that two different people were quite worried about my whereabouts: My mom and Psycho Boy.

By Wednesday, we were dating. By Thursday, we were saying we loved each other. We hadn't even met yet. And I still had to tell Dorkus boy that I was now dating Psycho boy, who he had talked to online and disliked greatly.

About two weeks later, we finally met. To say that this relationship got really sexual, really fast, is an understatement. We had just met and already, he was fingering me in the backseat while my mom was driving.

By July of 1997, I had packed my bags and was ready to run away. I had enough of his constant threats to kill himself if I broke up with him, his constant lies, his constant physical and emotional abuse, his plan to alienate me from all my family and friends. My mom was pretty damn tired of it too, so she just put a stop to it. She shipped me off to Austin with my brother for a week, and even though I still saw him a few times after that, it was over. And damn, was I glad. That was not a period in my life I'm particularly proud of.

So that's what the week of Thanksgiving reminds me of.

It also makes Thanksgiving more valuable, because I can really give thanks that I went through that whole thing, I came out, and bah on him."



back & forth random
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