There is an amazing lightening storm going on right now. It's not actually raining here, but the lightening is just.. awesome. I've never seen anything like it. It's like.. a total turn on.

I was thinking today.. I need some sex. Or something. Like, I totally need a summer fling. Someone I can go out with for a few months, have crazy sex with, get all involved with, and then like.. leave in September or something. I want that. I want to look back on The Summer of 2003 in Austin like "that summer." "That summer that was so amazing." I want that!

That's why I'm trying Matchmaker. So far, not a whole lot of luck. Except I did find this guy there by some kind of freaky accident. And if this guy happens to read this, you better watch out, dude. Cuz I'm totally going to make you my man slave. Muahahahaha.

I got a call from Borders today. They have a part time cafe position open, which is probably the crappiest job one can get at Borders, but shit. I'm in no position to be picky right now. So can you imagine it? Me working part time at Borders during the summer, having a man slave on the side? It sounds pretty incredible to me.

I hung out with a new friend today. Her name is Pam. She rocks. She is married, and they live in this tiny apartment, and they have pictures of themselves all over the tiny apartment. I thought that was cute. Also, it was revealed that we both play viola! That's just crazy.. it's like, impossible to just find someone who plays viola. We were obviously meant to be friends.

She made us cheeseburgers and we watched Sneakers. I don't know if you guys appreciate the sheer greatness of Sneakers, but if you don't, you just should. It's such a great movie, yes indeed.

It was nice to just hang out with someone and have a pretty nifty time. She is going through the same job looking thing that I am, but she's not as desperate because her husband works. So yeah. Rock on.

Okay, so I have to tell you guys about the Great Birthday Card Adventure. Matt's birthday is on Tuesday, and ever since I got to Austin, for some reason I just totally obsessed over getting him a card and sending it to him. I know that's not a big deal at all, but to me, it just is. So I spent a great deal of time picking out a card today. The card selection these days is amazing. They have cards for death of a dog. They have I Love You cards, I Miss You cards, I'm Sorry cards. But they don't have the "Ex-boyfriend's birthday card from the ex-girlfriend who doesn't want to sound like she's trying too hard" card. But I think I got a good one. It has a little puppy on it. Awww, puppies.

I took great pains to get the message inside right. I've been thinking about what to write for like.. 4 months, and I think I did okay with it. I messed up the first time, though, so I had to buy another card. Pathetic, yes. But we already knew that. On the first one, I told him I missed him, and also I added at the bottom, "Congratulations, you're now the oldest virgin in America." But when I thought it over, I didn't think that would be too nice. So that one's out.

My message was simple.. it was that I was proud of him, and that he went through a lot this year (including dumping me and getting another chick, but I digress) and stuff like that. I made sure to read it to my mom to see if she thought it was too corny, but she thought it was good.

The point is, I'm sending it tomorrow. I want to do more for him on his birthday, but I don't have the chance, and maybe that's just for the best. Definitely, it's for the best. As much as I want to be the first person who tells him Happy Birthday at 12 AM like I always have been, I can't be that this year. And I just have to come to peace with that.

I did more stuff tonight. I went to a Round Rock Express baseball game with my church's singles group. It was okay.. I left a little early. It just seems like they're all a little older than me, and I could find a place to put some of my conversation in. They're really nice people, but I dunno.. I don't think I'm on their level at this point in my life.

Then, because I didn't want to go home and be a loser, I saw Daredevil at the dollar theater. When I was walking out, I heard one dude say, "Damn, that movie was terrible!" And you know what? It really was. It was so cheesy. But I didn't care.. Ben Affleck is just too hot for me to care about the total cheese factor. Plus, two songs by Evanescense in the movie, and that's cool.

I have more to say but I'll just leave you with all this. I know you're excited.