But I'm trying hard not to hate it so much that it stops me from being productive. I did do stuff today.. I went to the psychologist, I applied at a few places in the mall, I went to the Work Force Center, and I went to another job fair. But I'm tired. And now I'm going to take a nap.

It's just so irritatingly sunny outside, and I am bleeding from my female parts and I haven't in 3 months and it's not pleasant. Also, I seem to be having facial hair issues. One of the fun things about Polycystic ovaries is the whole excessive hair thing. Yeah. It's as pleasant as it sounds, really. I think I need to get my faced waxed because Nair always makes it look really weird, like all splotchy, but getting it waxed costs $40, and that's craazzyy. But I find it to be very unsightly. So I'm just going to do it anyway, damnit. Okay then.

I think we've all come to the conclusion that I need more thyroid medicine. That might be the cause of a lot of my issues, so if we get that solved, maybe it'll be a lot easier for me. And when I say "it" I mean "everything." At least, I hope so.

I have become quite the banner whore as of late. I'm not sure how I can justify spending any amount of money on banners.. do I really need more people to read me and lecture me about what I'm doing wrong? But at the same time I'm a total attention whore and I just want to be one of the popular kids.

As of now, 95 people list me as a favorite. Not bad for being around for 9 months. But over here, I had 150 people. So that's good. Pointless, yes.

I also amused myself today by clicking "random" on the unsent letter ring on someone's web page, and it took me to my own page. Seriously, that made me smile. I'm not hard to amuse, apparently.

My period is making me feel like a big fat ogre. I want to eat small cities and paint myself green. RAWR! ARRGHHH!

I feel bloated and unattractive and hairy and sausage like and buh! Cramps! Holy crap, when will it end?!

Anyway. Nap time.

*****

What was Liz doing a year ago?

"Why do I like you so much? Is it your evil genius quality? Is it the fact that you expect so much out of people that you eventually alienated yourself so that nobody could get in, and now that you're slowly coming back out of the shadows everyone is so shocked and surprised that they'll buy anything you put out there? Is it the fact that I love your voice, all of your voices - the slow, ballad voice, the shredder voice, the regular voice... you sing with so much passion and I can just relate to that, you know? Or.. is it the fact that you are one friggin attractive man?

Now, listen to me, Axl. We've all been patiently waiting for you for 8 years. Some of us wanted to give up, but we didn't. We have faith in you, and if you'll just give us a chance, we'll make you bigger than you already are. It's possible. Just watch. Give us a tour, give us an album, give us interviews galore.. satiate us and we'll satiate you. "