baby maybe someday
September 12, 2003 Liz wonders about the absolute craptasticness of her significant other.

It is such a beautiful morning here in the land of Denton, fellow humans. It rained like a beyotch last night and now it's all cloudy and delicious. Mmm, cloudy. It's also very cool, like maybe 65 degrees. If I could wake up to mornings like this all the time, I don't think I'd be depressed anymore! Muahaha. If only it were that easy.

My mommy is being very nice to me, but that's not unusual. We went to see her horsie last night and then came back and watched Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. My mom totally got a kick out of it. I heart Carson.

Driving here was a strange task. It took me 4.5 hours to get to my mom's house because it would seem that there was a hurricane/monsoon going on in North Texas. At one point, everyone was going 25 miles per hour. ON THE HIGHWAY. So that was exciting. I called Matt when I was in Waco to see if he could tell me what was going on with the weather, and he didn't answer. And he didn't call me back. Which leads me to talking about Matt now.

I am just.. appalled at his behavior. I am in shock, almost. I mean.. you guys are all right. If he was a friend, he'd want to be there for me. She keeps saying that she wants to see me, to hold me and hug me and tell me that I'm going to be okay, but I don't want that from her. I want it from Matt. I want him to cancel something for me, or fit me in somehow to his stupid pointless busy schedule. It really hurts that he's acting this way. I haven't gotten any emails, no phone calls, no text messages, nothing, since I talked to him about my issues. It hurts me. It kept me up last night.

I just don't know what to think about this. He doesn't want me to go to the football game. Last year, he didn't want me to go to the football game with him ON OUR ANNIVERSARY because, quote, he wanted me to "stay at school and study" instead of go to the game. And, you know, he had ANOTHER GIRLFRIEND at the time, so this just really confuses me. So what's the deal? Is there another chick in the picture, YET FUCKING AGAIN? When I talked to him on Wednesday, he said something about how he doesn't have a redhead waiting around for him or what not. It's not the redhead I'm worried about, it's the motherfucking blond! I mean, fucking fuck.

What is going on? I thought everything was going really well between us, and now I'm so bitter I can hardly stand it! I just don't understand how he can be this way. I mean.. he's getting a fucking Masters in Psychology, you'd think he'd be a little more fucking understanding. *shakes head*

I just don't get it. It boggles my poor tender mind.

In other news, John Ritter died. For some reason, that really disturbs me.

I'm going to my dad's farm today. I am looking forward to it because I want to see all my doggies. I'm not looking forward to it because I'm sure there will be lots of fun chats about crazy Liz and why she hasn't found a job yet. Yay! Let's party.

That's all for now. I'm going to go continue to be flabergasted at Matt's behavior, and yeah, other stuff.

*shakes head*

*****

What was Liz doing a year ago?

"Also, I went to this thing the journalism department had about being a reporter and witnessing trauma all the time. The main thing about it was that nobody ever cares about the reporter seeing what they see. They never ask, "Hey, are you okay?" And that's just expected. Reporters are expected to report about it and then to shut up and deal with it. It was a very interesting discussion. All the journalism teachers I've had at this school, plus Editor Guy, were all there and I gotta say, I have a new respect for those teachers. They have been through some amazing stuff. It was good stuff, friends, good stuff."

What was Liz doing 2 years ago?

"I've heard about how evil the Taliban is for years. They don't let women work or have education or pretty much do anything but pray and serve God, among other things. So, if they're behind this, I hope something horrible does happen to them. Well, I really think something horrible should happen to them anyway, but we shouldn't be blaming them until we really know that they are behind this stuff."



back & forth random
recently...

So be it! My last entry ever. - November 16, 2004
701 - October 17, 2004
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fucking debate! - September 30, 2004