As you can see, I'm not so "oohh my period is wonderful" today. I'm all "Fuck my diet and fuck Kyle the personal trainer and fuck the church thing I was supposed to go to, I'm going to order some motherfucking pizza and watch the hour long episode of Friends."

Part of my condition has to do with the fact that my cramps are not be very nice to me. And that I'm so bloated that I feel like I swallowed some sort of small farm animal. Also the fact that I had to sit there for 4 hours at the temp agency and do a million tests. And you know what they did? They fuckin called my references right in front of me! I almost shit my pants! They called Matt, but he wasn't there, so they got his voice mail, and since it was on speaker phone I had to hear his voice and that made me all nostalgic for him which is crap. And then they called Donna and Donna said really nice things about me and they were impressed because she's the president of her company and shit.

But can you imagine? It was so weird. What if they called someone and that person gave you shit references? Bahhh.

And then the whole traffic thing really sucked some serious ass as well. So right now if you called me and asked me, "Say one word right now that you're feeling," I'd say: BAH. That's right. BAH.

And I still have to leave later to return the porn that I rented on Sunday. Damn porn.

Anyway. That's about all I have for today.. it's time to gorge myself with pizza and lust over Jennifer Aniston.

*****

What was Liz doing a year ago?

"I decided to let my editor guy interview Kevin Smith. Well, I�m sure he would have decided that for me eventually anyway, but I told him that he could do it. Because I don't feel like phone skills or interview skills or anything are up to Kevin Smith level. I think I'd just be stammering and having a lot of Chris Farley moments.. "Remember when you directed Chasing Amy? Yeah.. that was a good movie."