This Thanksgiving can't possibly measure up to the last one, where I unceremoniusly stood up in front of my whole family and annouced, "My whole fucking family is falling apart, I can fucking cry if I want to." That was fun!

Anyway, yay.

I would like to talk about dogs.

There's nothing quite like being greeted by a dog who loves you. Especially after not seeing them for a month or two. They just go shit crazy! I really, seriously love that about dogs. I really love that about my Charlie. He and I have been together for 4 years, and the excitement still hasn't run out of the relationship. He's my puppy, and I'm his mommy, whether he likes it or not. Usually, he likes it.

He even came and slept with me for a little while last night. He unfortunately likes to sleep right next to me, making it hard to manuever myself into a comfortable sleeping position. But you know what? I'd sacrafice a comfortable sleeping position just so my doggy can sleep next to me.

At the farm right now, there's... Lilly, Nikko, Charlie, Dylan, Froggy and Rudy. That's a lot of dogs! And we aren't talking just little tiny yapping dogs. Three of them are Anatolian Shephards. The 8 month old Froggy is already 115 pounds and will eventually grow to be about 200. Dylan is a big golden retriever. Nikko is a beautiful Husky. Charlie is the smallest as a Golden Retriever/Cocker Spaniel mix, but he's still about 60 pounds.

I love my puppy doggies. I didn't know if that was apparent or not.

Last night was drunken fun for the whole family. It helped that I had 3 glasses of wine. There was a whole incident with the carts getting stuck in the mud, but I won't bore you with that. It was fun times, though. Not really.

Okay then. I am hungry. I am going to eat. A tip: When I was in the height of my tipsyness last night, we ate dinner, and all I ate was some asparagus, some rice, and a bit of salmon. Therefore, I suggest being drunk all the time for those of us on a diet. It makes it easier!

Oooh! I just remembered a dream I had last night. First of all, a couple of nights ago, I had a dream that I was on Saturday Night Live. I wasn't actually on the show in my dream, but it was understood that I was on it, and I was telling everyone that I was on it so they should respect me more or something like that. That's weird. I've never harbored a secret interest in being on SNL. It's funnylicious, but that's about it. Yeeyuh.

So last night, I had a dream that frequently occurs in my life. I dreamed that I had a class in school that I just forgot to go to and now the exams are coming up and I have to take them or I'm going to fail. I'm sure if I looked into that dream at all I'd see what the hell it meant, but I'm just going to let that go. But the thing about it is, I have that dream like maybe once a month or so. That's mildly alarming. I think.

I'm out.

*****

a year ago...

"I'm trying not to think about the fact that if this were any normal time of my life, I'd be at BB's right now, seeing that I have no school tomorrow and not a good god damn thing to do tonight. I kinda messaged him tonight to tell him this (actually, all I said was "No school tomorrow = ratings") and he was just like "That's cool." And that's it. But thats okay. Sitting here in my pajamas watching Conan is better anyway, right?"

and..

Sidenote - this pisses me off because he wasn't "miserable." He was fine. He had a girlfriend already.. he had her since the 17th. He was so fucking with me at that point, and it's stupid. I know it's pointless to rehash now, but come on! Give me a little credit here! Asshat.

"It really was a nice chat, I'm not being sarcastic. He told me how miserable he was, and how he's worried about how badly I seem to be taking this (which I will comment on at a later point in this entry. Can I get a what what?). He promised me one "non sexual" encounter before I go to Austin. Damnit! I'm tired of wacking off! What's with this non-sexual stuff?

He said it would be so easy to run to me, but he really wants to see what it's like without me as a safety net. And I understand that, but it's still hard and crappola like that."

two years ago...

"Okay kids. When you go college, take my advice. Get things done right away, don't put them off until 2 hours before it's due. You may think playing Scrabble and reading random Diaryland diaries is a good way to pass the time right now, but when it comes down to it, studying and writing papers and doing school type of activities are more important."