It's just amazing to me, these women. Only Carrie seems to have a regular boyfriend from time to time, the rest of them have different boyfriends every single episode! And the sex these people are having is just totally and completely astounding to me. There's just a crapload of sex going on.

I am single, and living in a city. I've only been single and living in this city for 2 weeks, so I can't really get my panties in a bunch yet, but where are all the guys? Why am I not being a total whore like those chicks in New York City? Should I become a total whore because that is what is expected of me? Do you have to put out in a world that expects it?

Ehehe. Sorry, I became Carrie there for a second.

The people I know aren't having a whole lot of sex. I mean, hello, I haven't had sex in 5 years. Do you understand how completely long that is? 5 YEARS. I had it first when I was 17, with Psycho Boy, and we did it like every 10 minutes. Then I did it again with James, sensitive pony tail man. Just once. Because it sucked with him.

And then THAT'S IT! That's ALL THE SEX I'VE EVER HAD! And I feel like a freak. I'm sure Matt feels like a big freak sometimes carrying out his big 24 year old virgin flag, but I think he's comfortable with it for the most part. It sets him apart. It gives girls a reason to take a look at him in a different light. They might think they can take it from him, it's a challenge. Of course, I have news for them. Honey, if I didn't get it after 5 years, neither will you. And it's not like he's using it to pick up chicks. He didn't tell me he was a virgin until 2 months into our relationship. That was a wonderful surprise, let me tell you.

But then again, it was really nice to not have to worry about sex. Even though it sucked to know he was still messing around with other chicks, at least I knew he wasn't having sex with them. And it was nice to not have to worry about getting pregnant and using condoms and taking the pill and all that other crap that goes along with sex. And there were orgasms aplenty, so I didn't really miss it.

So does this really set me apart from other people? Do I have to have sex these days to fit into a real adult relationship? Because I don't want to. I've held on to a sexless life for this long, I don't want to throw it away on some bastard who won't call me the next day, right?

And of course there's the whole "If I have sex with someone else, Matt will never want me again" mind set, which is totally and completely stupid. It's not like we're ever going to talk about my sexual partners. And you know.. all the rest of the stuff that is wrong with that sentence.

I don't wanna have sex. I want orgasms, but not sex. So I might just have to be doing it by myself, cuz I don't know the rules of sex these days. And I'm really not looking forward to finding them out, either.

Anyway. Back to Sex and the City. The last two episodes of the 2nd season had me totally and completely captivated. Carrie and the rest of the girls go to the Hamptons and BOOM! out of nowhere, there's Mr. Big with a chick. And then Carrie tries to be friends with him and realizes it's really hard, especially when he tells her he's engaged. I completely related to when they first went out to eat together as friends, me and Matt did that whole dance, too. We were both nervous and then we both had some kind of alcoholic beverage to make things easier, and then talk turned to his girl, and things just sucked like that.

I hate him having a girlfriend. It's just not fair. But I digress.

Anyway. I'm not sure where I was going with this entry, other than to say I'm obsessed with the show and I'm going to rent the 3rd season today so I can further my obsession. Also, this is the 3rd day that I haven't talked to Matt. My record is a week. Last time I only made it 4 days. Wish me luck.

*****

What was Liz doing a year ago?

Starting school. Woo.