I would like to take this opportunity to talk about Jessica Simpson. For some reason, I just really think she's nifty. And I just looked her up to see what high school she went to because I know she's from Texas, and she went to a school that was in the same district as me. I think we were even in high school at the same time, so that's good times. She went to Pearce, and during Homecoming of 1997, I totally wrote in shoe polish on my car "PEARCE SUCKS ASS!" And then when I drove by, I totally got egged. My poor car never really recovered from that.

Ahhh, high school memories.

Anyway. I like Jessica Simpson. She's such a spoiled little beyotch, but I can relate to that. Oh yes.

Speaking of celeb encounters, I was watching something today and saw a preview for the new show on HBO, Carnivale. Guess who's in that? Yes. Yes, indeed, Nick Stahl is in that. I really need to get over this weird obsession I have with him at some point in my life. But I think he's finally made it big. He's in every single magazine I read lately. He was even in Maxim! *sigh* Oh Nick, why did you have to be the first boy who ever broke my heart?

In other news, I went to the psychologist today. I learned something new: Apparently I have a baby living inside of me, and it's not the fun kind.

Yes, that's right. My inner child is responsible for all my bad decisions.

Let me see if I can get this right, because I was just explaining it to my brother and it made perfect sense to him, but it might not make any kind of sense to normal people. But here it goes:

I was never given the chance to grow up by my parents. They had some personal agenda, some reason why it was important to keep me the way I am. My mom was fulfilled in some way by cleaning up after me, supporting me in my slackertude, loaning me money when I spent what I had on totally retarded things, etc. My dad was fulfilled in some way by never making me get a job so he could be Mr. Moneybags and therefore control my every move. Therefore, I was never really allowed to really grow up and be the mature almost 24-year-old (October 12th, it's never too early to start shopping!) that I should be today. As a result, I'm a whiny little insecure with crazy issues, and the inner child inside of me is so used to having all this attention and being pampered that she refuses to leave and help me become mature.

So that was something fun to learn about today. Apparently I have to talk things over with my inner child before I make a decision. I have to say, "Look sweetie, I know you want this this way, but I need to do it this way if I ever want to grow."

I know it all sounds like a bunch of bullshit, but it kinda makes sense to me. The question is, what am I going to do about it? Am I going to let my inner baby take hold of my life, or am I going to shove a pacifier up its ass and do my business?

It's a good question.

Ahhh, the joys of therapy.

In completely different news, yesterday I bought Coldplay's Rush of Blood to the Head, and I've been listening to it nonstop. Especially the very first song, "Politik." It's not so much the words in that song, but the piano. The piano just always threatens to rip my heart out and do a little dance on it.

I would have bought that album sooner, but I have painful Coldplay memories. I went to the concert back in January and pretty much cried my way through the entire time. That day was the day I thought it was completely over between me and Matt, and I kept listening to the album over and over and just crying like a baby. It's just funny how a couple of songs can take you back to a time in your life with such alarm, and it's like nothing else can do that. I can think about a situation and remember it a certain way, but if I hear a song from that time that meant something to me, it really brings back the memories the way they were meant to be remembered.

This whole entry has made absolutely no sense. I'm not even drunk!

I miss Matt.