First of all, I'm watching the I love the 80's marathon, even though I've seen like.. all these shows about 3 times already.

And I also did Habitat for Humanity today. I got there too late to do anything productive with the house they're building, but some chick took me under her wing and I helped her do some stuff with like.. stuff. There was lots of lifting rakes and such.

This was the most hardcore chick ever. She does Habitat like 4 days a week and she's one tough beyotch. She was also the best reverser I've ever known. That girl could reverse! I love this.. I love meeting new people and learning about them and watching them in action. Why didn't I do this in college? Why did I think hanging out with my boyfriend 24/7 was a healthy activity?

Anyway. Tomorrow I'm going to be sore, and I will probably have some kind of hideous sunburn. But that's awesome.

I just feel like this is HUGE. Like I did on Thursday night when I went to that club. This is big time, people. I'm learning how to have a social life. Of course, it's all from church right now, but where else would I find people? I don't go to school, I don't go to work.. church is totally saving me right now. And I do appreciate that.

I almost feel like I'm in Groundhog Day. Bill Murray couldn't move on until he did all the stuff that he knew he had to do before, but he didn't. And I feel like I'm being productive, making friends, working hard to find a job. Even not talking to Matt for 4 days is pretty impressive, I think.

I was just sitting here watching the 80's Marathon and I wasn't depressed, I wasn't sad, I was just contemplative and somewhat happy that I almost get it. I know I have a LONG way to go, but these first steps are so awesome and so important and yay.

I want to tell Matt about it, but I know that's a big part of it... doing it and NOT telling him all about it. That's so hard, but I think I'll be able to do it. It's all good. Kinda.

That's all. I'm going to sit here and watch the 80's marathon and then go see Laurel Canyon! Woot.