If ever I needed a reason NOT to ever talk to Matt, he pretty much straight up gave me one tonight. For some reason, I felt like I should talk to him. I wanted to get a feel for how he thinks of me lately, how he feels about me. And I got it. It's not exactly what I want, but right now I'm pretty apathetic about the whole thing.

I messaged him, and he says he could be better. He says he's doing quite crappy, really, and he's not really talking to anyone. He hasn't talked to his best friend in 5 days, even. At this point I'm starting to worry a little. I'm all like, "If you want to talk about it, I'm here, you know that."

And then he's all like, "I don't want to talk about it. If I talk about it, I think about it, and I don't want to think about it." So essientially he doesn't want to talk to me, right?

So then I say, "So, just talking to me at all makes you think about stuff?" And he's all like, "Yes, but everyone else who I've talked to about it isn't taking it personally, so I hope you don't." And I said, "I don't." And that was the end of the conversation.

It's a little depressing, but I mean.. what can I do? He doesn't want to talk to me. It makes him "think about stuff."

What the fuck is wrong with him? Why can't he just get over it? Is his girlfriend that much of a crackwhore? Is his life really that bad? Oh gee, I feel bad for you, Mr. Graduated with a 4.0 and has 5 different jobs and has an Awesome Dodge Ram! Boo hoo, your life is just so fucking sad. You dumped the girlfriend that would have done any fucking thing for you, including weekly blowjobs, for a girl who is so religious that she's just never going to drop her pants for you. A girl so independent that she doesn't even give a shit about you. Well that's just too fucking bad. Maybe next time you'll think about your fucking choices and make better ones. Boohoo Mr. Bad Choices Man! Let everyone feel sorry for you because of your stupid fucked up choices!

Okay, I had to get that out. It's all good.

So, talking to him makes him think about stuff. Far be it from me to make him think about stuff.

Fuck him, you know? Just.. fuck him.