My brother is an asshole.

He's an asshole because I just took him to the airport so he could fly off to Vegas for 4 days. I wish I could be there, soooo bad. I know looking for a job and crap is really what I should be doing, but being in Vegas, partying like a total gambling whore, really appeals to me. I haven't been there in a year and a half, and that's just too long!

But he deserves it.. yesterday he just took his last exam for the semester, and he's in grad school getting his MBA. And when he gets back, he has this mega summer internship to look forward to. $5,000 a month. Bastard.

He's really been so helpful to me while I've been here. Before I got here, I thought he'd be an asshole and I'd only see him every couple of weeks. But I see him like 2 or 3 times a week, always on Sunday for Six Feet Under. It's good times.. I'm glad we have a chance to bond like that. He has questionable judgement in boys, but so do I, so it's all good.

In other news, it was a pretty unproductive job looking day. I applied at 3 different restaurants, and at all 3, there were several other people doing the same thing. I emailed my resume for a secretarial job. And I applied at Borders, which is actually hiring. So I'll call them tomorrow.

I have to get a job soon or bad things are going to happen. I can't stand this shit anymore, it has to end. I never wake up earlier than 9:30 anymore, and that's just not good, if you're wondering. Not good at all.

But anyway.

I miss Matt. I keep trying to tell myself that I just need some time, and soon it'll get so much better. And I know that, but it's just sucky right now. It's like 10 times better than it used to be, but that's what it's supposed to be by now, right? With almost 7 months behind me, I should be moving right along. And I am. And it's good times. But I should be further. I should be striving for success, and it just feels like I'm not.

But he doesn't want to talk to me anyway, so that's good. Really, it is good. It gives me a reason to stay away from him, which I certainly appreciate.

Also, American Idol is getting on my nerves. I hope this reality TV crap goes away at some point in the near future.

That is all.