I dunno, I feel better today. First of all, my period is over again. Hopefully I won't have that thing for another month, but let's see if Mother Nature tries to enforce herself upon me before then.

I did get to escape my apartment last night.. I went to my brother's and we watched EdTV, which really did kind of suck but I don't care because I love Matthew Mcwhaterahey's accent. It's purty.

*purrrr*

And it's Wednesday. Which really isn't all that impressive, but hey. At least it's not Monday anymore. I don't know whether to be excited about March being around the corner because March really sucks, in my opinion. It'll be the 3rd month that I'm here, the 5th month of the breakup, and if I don't get a job in March, I'm royally screwed. Like, screwed up the asshole. Lovely imagery.

My mom is coming this weekend, so at least I have that to look forward to.

Matt is still a mystery. I get the feeling he's stringing me along, but I don't know that for sure. I think he's waiting to see if I'm going to get my shit together or not, which is fair. Sometimes I think it would be a good idea not to talk to him until I get a decent amount of shit together, but he likes talking to me, and I know why. It's because I love him, care about him, would do anything for him, and of course that boosts his ego to unknown proportions.

I just wish I could see him soon. You know what I ache for? I wish we could get back to the point where I could tell him I love him before going to bed. For 5 years, I wouldn't go to bed until I IMed him to tell him that I loved him. I miss that.

And when I wrote that 3 page story for him about where I see us in the future, I realized that we have so much history between us that other people just wouldn't get. I put so many private, intimate things in there that other people would be confused by. We have this whole history of intimacy that.. I don't know. It's so personal, and so intimate, and I know we're not the only couple to ever have that between us, but he's the only person I want that with. I can't even imagine being with another person.

*sigh*

I need a job.

In other completely different news, I really hate Jay Leno. Like, with a crazy passion. But his Headlines make me crack up. I was looking at them over here last night and I couldn't stop giggling. Giggle! TEE HEE! That shit just makes me laugh like nothing else.

I just thought I'd share that.