So now I'm watching the extras on my Pulp Fiction deluxe edition DVD. Mmm, Pulp Fiction. I heart Pulp Fiction.

I also saw Mean Girls tonight. I have a new respect for Tina Fey because GOOD LORD, that movie was AWESOME. I mean.. when I got there and found myself to probably be about the oldest person in an audience full of 16 year old girls wearing hardly any clothes and all gripping their cell phones like they might die if it was removed from their fists. This really scared me at first, and I thought about going to see Envy. But seriously, this movie rocked. I laughed my ass off.

I was telling my mom this week that right now, I know I have lots of things I need to work on, but right now I only feel like working on the job situation and the weight situation. And I had an interview this week and the South Beach Diet has assisted me in losing 5 pounds, so I am working on that stuff.

I told her that I know I need to find friends somewhere, but I'm just not motivated to do that yet. I was so anxious in Austin to make friends because I didn't have a lot of time there, first of all. And also, I didn't really have much else going on there, so friends were of vital importance. But right now, I just don't care. I only have room to work on a few things at once because that's just how I am.

That's all fine and good during the week, because I can get home from work and sit around with the roomate for a while and watch Friends and work out, but then it comes to Friday and I have nothing to do but come home and take a nap and then go see a movie by myself. It sucks, yo.

And it's not like I don't have any friends at all in Dallas. There's several people I could call, in theory. I haven't talked to Natalie in a few months, but I know if I call her and try to hang out that will be cool like Fonzie. But she's always so busy with every person in the whole world that I almost feel bad for not sharing her. And then there's Chris, who I haven't seen in a year but who lives approximately 2 minutes from me. But he's busy with his girlfriend and I don't talk to him much and ever since we bonded over the whole "got dumped after 5 years" episodes of our lives, he's moved WAY on, and I really haven't. And there's Scott, but there's very specific things we do together and he's always with his girlfriend and we have to plan far in advance.

See how I can make excuses for myself? Aren't you impressed?

And there's also Leslie, who I actually went to elementary school with. She got back in contact with me a few weeks ago and I talked to her for like 5 minutes at work and told her I'd call her back soon. Yeah, I haven't. She was an awesome friend back when we were like, 10 years old. But now she's just weird. If you define weird as hanging out at my house after not seeing each other for 5 years and having her hand me a note that says "I'd really like to do you right now" and then running away all embarrased. Which I do. So I don't want to get into that right now. Which sucks. And that was seriously almost 8 years ago, so you know, things change and everything. Or something.

So, the point is: Friends. I need them. But I'm so unmotivated to get them right now. So, rock on.

I would like to talk about my eating habits as of late and how all I think about, 24 hours a day, is losing weight and how much I hate the diet I'm on and not being able to eat what I want all the time and that I like the fact that I'm losing a little weight and my jeans are a little looser but that didn't stop me from having popcorn at the movie tonight and how I want to be like Jennifer Aniston. But that's boring.

And Matt's roomate let me borrow his burned copy of the new Guns N Roses DVD of their concert in Tokyo in 1992. I haven't watched much of it, just enough to see Axl getting ready for the concert in his full length mink coat, tiny bicycle shorts, and big giant boots. Ahhh, the rock star lifestyle. Does it get any better than that?

There's a big thunderstorm right now and I am now watching the Love Actually DVD with commentary from a large number of British males. Jolly, yes?

Okay then. Happy May. Happy month that contains the birthday of Matt, my dad, my brother, my roomate, and Mother's Day. Happy dwindling of my bank account. Yeeyuh.

*****

a year ago...

"But you know what? I've lost best friends before. It sucks, but it fucking happens. And you just have to deal with it."

2 years ago...

"I haven't seen BB in almost 2 weeks, so I am in need of a little sexual excitement."