*shakes head*

Anyway. This is probably going to be long and rambly, but I know that you guys don't care because you're the loyal ones. I went from 156 people listing me as a favorite to 30 people, but thats okay. I know who my true friends are! MUAHAHAHAH! My pride isn't wounded. Really.

So today I had a social life, strangely enough. Scott came to Austin to help a friend move or something, so we all hung out. It wasn't a whole lot of fun.. the dude we were hanging out with was a total hottie, but just soooo boring. The main subject of the day was the fact that his ex girlfriend that he wanted to get back together with is now dating his best friend. Well, boo hoo. Shit happens.

While he and Scott and this other chick talked about it at lunch, I just kinda sat there and ate chips and salsa. It's totally shallow of me, but I just can't find it in myself to be sympathetic to other people's relationship dramas right now. I mean, first of all, the dude needs to move on. He wasn't going out with the girl anyway, he just wanted her back. And second, I was obsessing over my own situation and other such things.

What depressed me today was when we passed this street in Austin called "Packsaddle Pass." It depressed me because that was kind of a joke between me and Matt.. we both thought it was the greatest name of all time. Today I saw it for the first time and it made me sad again.

But I'm not really that sad anymore. I made myself a cheeseburger tonight, and it was really fabulously good. If I were talking to Matt, which I'm not, I would tell him all about this burger and make him jealous. He called my burgers "Lizzieburgers" and he loved them, and I know if I told him about them he'd drool all over himself. I bet his new girlfriend can't make cheeseburgers the way he likes it like I can. But that's stupid so I'll shut up now.

I also bought 2 new DVDs today. I couldn't help myself! I bought When Harry Met Sally and Singles, two of the greatest movies of all time. I also discovered a DVD that I got for Christmas.. Pulp Fiction! I can't get over the fact that that movie came out almost 10 years ago. It is my favorite. Really.

Now I'm gonna jump back to lunch. It's just funny.. people can give you advice on relationships, on your relationship. Or you can take the logical approach, like say.. "This person lives in Dallas, I live in Austin, this person has a new girlfriend, and I'm not coming back for at least 7 months. That means that we can't get back together, right? That means that he's not going to cheat on his girlfriend, right?" Those are all logical facts, yet when I look at these facts, I ignore them. Because everytime I talk to Matt, I'm probably both consciously and uncosciously trying to make him miss me enough to dump her and get back together with me, although that would just be destructive right now. You know what I'm saying?

My point is.. you have to step back from the situation sometimes and see it as other people see it. But when you do that.. sometimes it just doesn't matter. Only you can understand what you need to do, and I understand what I need to do, and I'm going to eventually do it. I have to get a job and new friends and new relationships so I can figure out what the real world is really like.

Well, it made sense to me.

Okay, here's a little explanation of me and Scott's history of Austin. He said he kept thinking about our trip to Austin and that's honestly what I think about in certain parts of Austin, too. Here's the background:

Me and Scott went on 1 date before I started having my weird thing with Josh, aka Psycho Boy. We went to see Romeo and Juliet. I really liked him, but there was absolutely no chemistry, at least for me. That's always been my problem with him.. there's just no spark there, but he's like.. the greatest friend ever.

I would tell this whole story but it's probably too boring. Long story short, Scott and I bonded in a major way when we went on a journalism trip to Austin when I was a junior in high school, 6 years ago. We flirted, we kinda held hands in a freakish way, and somehow he ended up unhooking my bra when we were just kinda playing around one day. This was major back then, cuz I was just 17 and that kind of thing was so taboo!

I came back from that trip missing Scott really badly. I think we both have really fond memories of bonding on that trip, and we both talk about it when Austin comes up. It's just a big thing that I can't really explain.. our Austin memories are just special in our friendship.

Anyway.

I was on the drag today, the little street with all the crap on it by UT. I went to Tower Records, which seriously is like one of my most favorite places in the world. It's just huge. And full of.. stuff. I like stuff, yes I do.

Blah blah blah.

I'm full of chattiness today.

I bought a new portfolio today and I'm really excited about it. I'm gonna get my stuff in it tomorrow and then it's time to go get my journalism thing on. I don't think I have a prayer of getting a good journalism job right now, but it's a start. We all have to start somewhere, right?

I haven't talked to Matt today. It's kind of freeing in a way, knowing that I'm not going to talk to him. Of course, he could talk to me, but I don't think he will after our conversation yesterday. It wasn't bad, it just wasn't very productive and I think he just wants to be happy in his own little world. He says he'd be sad if we stopped talking, but I honestly don't think he'd really notice. I guess we'll see about that.

Okay, I'm finished now, I suppose. I'm gonna go watch Singles and have good times.

*****

What was MyMichele doing a year ago?

"We had to go around the room and introduce ourselves, and I said, "Hi, I'm Elizabeth, and I'm obsessed with Axl Rose." I just wanted them all to know that from the start, and I think between me telling them that and the GN'R concert T shirt I was wearing, they got the point. Well! It's an important thing to know about me!"