I was spending the day cleaning my apartment (it takes that long, because I'm kind of a pig, to be honest) and when I was waiting for my waffle to come out of the toaster, I was just thinking how much I love and appreciate my apartment. Seriously. It's mine. All mine. I pay the rent (right now from money my dad gave me, but that's beside the point, now isn't it.) by myself and pay the bills and clean it myself and it's MINE! I was telling Chris today that I've slept here in my bed everyday for a month. That's almost depressing, but it's good too. I can't remember the last time I slept in the same bed for a whole month. It's nice, but you know.. I'd rather be sleeping in Matt's bed. The bed we bought together. Bah.

But really.. I feel good right now. I feel like I'm close to getting the Austin thing on track. I'm going to find a job this week, damnit. Even if it's with the IRS and it's shit pay, I have to find something. Plus, it doesn't matter if the pay is bad.. once I write my book I'm going to be rich anyway, right?

As far as Valentines Day goes.. I'm not that bitter about it, I guess. I'm going to go to Dallas that day, I think. I don't know.. Matt told me his girlfriend is going out of town that weekend so maybe we can spend time together.. maybe that wouldn't be such a good idea. Whatever, its 2 weeks away. A lot can happen in 2 weeks.

His girlfriend situation isn't getting any better, it would seem. This is like the 4th weekend in a row that they haven't spent any time together. I know he's getting tired of it, and I'm kinda just waiting for something to happen. Anything. I mean, only 2 things can happen here - they can work it out or they can break up. Now, if they break up, two things can happen there, too - we get back together or he finds another girlfriend, which really doesn't seem like a good plan. So I don't know what's happening and I hate it. Maybe this is why people cut off communication with their exes. So they don't interfere in their bidness.

But when I don't talk to him for a day or two he IMs me and asks me why I'm not talking to him. He wants me in his life, apparently, and I'm not sure why. It may just be because he knows I adore him and he needs some adoration at this point in his life. I dunno. I hope something happens soon because this isn't a fun holding pattern.

But for now he's studying his psychology and I'm cleaning my bedroom and watching Clueless. I never get tired of watching that movie.. it's greatness.