I mean, it just pretty much started out shitty. I got a call at 9:00 asking me if I wanted to go answer phones for a business a few minutes from here for today and tomorrow. I should have said yes. It would have been a pretty easy $100 or so, and I said no! Why did I say no? Because I was hoping that I'd hear about that other job, the one that I want more than anything.

Nobody called about that job. I called, and they didn't return my call. I wanted it so bad.. it's a big dissapointment, really. But we'll get to that later.

A little while after that, Matt called to ask about what he should say to the temp agency that asked him for a reference for me. And that's it. I kept talking after that, and he wasn't having any of it. He wanted to get off the phone as soon as humanly possible, and you know what? That hurt. It really did. Couldn't he have emailed me about the reference? I don't appreciate the calls that make me feel so unwanted.

And it just kept getting pooey. I worked out, watched some Six Feet Under, took a shower, finally went out and went to exactly one place, the florist. They had a sign that said they were looking for a delivery driver. Well, of course, that had already been filled. So I gave up. And I went to the movie theater. I watched Chicago again. Catherine Zeta Jones is like.. beautiful. Yes, indeed.

Then I went to my small group, and that was good. We're all a bunch of 20-ish girls trying to figure out what's going on, so it's nice to relate to these girls.

It's just so annoying.. this whole job thing. It shouldn't be this hard. It's been 6 weeks.. what am I doing wrong? I am so tired of this.. these empty days of driving around, begging people to hire me. It's so stupid, so demoralizing, so retarded. I don't want to do it anymore. Next week, I will stop at nothing to get a job. Even if it's just temporary, anything. I will do whatever it takes.

I don't really have much else to say tonight. I'm going to watch Six Feet Under and eat a sandwich, which is really horrible because I'm not supposed to eat after like.. 7. But I'm a risk taker.

By the way, I think I'm in love with Nate Fisher.