It's a little stuffy inside my apartment right now, but I'm so proud that my electricity bill was only $35 during the hottest month of the year, I'm not even going to turn on the AC because I'm crazy like that.

Last night, Joey and I saw the Magdelene Sisters. It was sad, but it was also very engrossing. Fascinating, if you will. It was the rare movie where I just didn't want it to end, I wanted it to keep going because I was so interested in the lives of these girls. Good stuff, indeed.

In other news, I'm starting to get really annoyed with myself. I haven't been good about this job thing, at all. And it's like I'm using the depression excuse to go home in the middle of the day and go to sleep.I need a job. I am broke. I sold all my earthly possessions at Half Price Books for $70 and that's just sad.

I mean.. people have probably been depressed for millions of years and yet they sucked it up, got out of bed and got a job. Why do I think I'm special? I'm not special. Just because I have brain issues, that doesn't give me a license to just forget about the fact that I have to pay the rent next month. Ugh. Hopefully the medication will have some kind of positive effect on me, but I can't rely on that. I have to at least try a little bit to do it myself. I can't give up because I do not have the option of giving up. It's all very sad and retarded and I hope at some point I can give myself a pep talk about what a lazy-ass I have become.

I have spent so much time online lately, it's crazy. I've gotten rather obsessed with D-land.. I've reviewed a lot of people. I'm constantly looking for new places in which I can get reviewed. I look at other people's diaries because I want to live vicariously through them. This is not fun. This is stupid. This is pointless. And it's not getting me anywhere in life.

And I feel really really fat lately. I don't know why, but I've gained 5 pounds and maybe it's the pills I'm taking or of course, it could be the food I'm eating, but it makes me feel all pasty and big and yucky. When I got my hair cut yesterday, I was just looking at my face in the mirror in shame. It's all bloated and fat and I hate that. I wish I could just do it.. I wish I could suck it up and just do what I have to do to lose the weight, eat right, all that stuff. I have the working out thing down to a tee. I think that's why I kinda maintain a look of not quite overweightness sometimes.. because the rest of my body looks a lot better, but my big fat stomach is huge and nasty and I hate it and it always looks like I'm about to pop a baby out.

And another thing.. I did get a haircut yesterday. I got about 2 inches cut and more layers added. I like it, but the thing is.. it's so boring! It doesn't set me apart from anyone down the street. Before I had it cut, it was growing to be really long and kinda neato, but then I asked her to cut an inch or two and now it's medium length again. It's boring. I wish I had the balls to just dye the whole thing blue or something. *sigh*

Okay. I'm finished now. Before I go, I would like to request that you sign the guestbook because it's feeling neglected lately. Um, tell me who your favorite Golden Girl is. And why. Or something like that. I don't know.

Also, go request a review and make me feel psuedo important.

Thank you.