I'm such a shitty mood right now. I know I need to take some Motrin and go to bed pretty soon, but for now I'm just.. blahhh. I went to my depression support group tonight and met a new chick.. she's really cool and we're both in the same boat with the whole job thing, the whole just moved here and have no friends thing, etc. But she's married. To this really HOT guy named Chris. But I digress.

I think I may have decided tonight, in the past 45 minutes really, that going home in 3 months really isn't a very good idea at all. What would be the point? What is going on in Dallas that I have to get to by the Fall or I'll explode? I'll tell you what'll happen when I go back - I'll be depressed that it's the Fall and that me and Matt aren't together. Why put myself through that? Really, what is the fucking point? Why am I so determined to get back in August?

Pretty much the only reason I wanted to go back was so that I had a chance with Matt. Why would my chances of getting back together with him be any better if I went back? They'd probably be worse, with me in his face all the time. If I stayed here for 9 more months, what would the difference be?

I really think I need to do this. If Matt and I were meant to be together, than it'll happen no matter where I am. Going home in 3 months is really not conducive to anything.. finding a job here, finding a job there, making friends here, etc. It's just not conducive. And I have to realize that, and make peace with it, and get comfortable with it. It's so scary to think about, but I know this is really the best thing to do.

Also, I saw Identity today. It was good stuff, really.